I have all my sliders at the top for all of my controls. I did not like the "graduated" idea, and found it was causing me to over-control. I want the stick throw to mimic the control surface movement. I fly with small, smooth stick movements. I fly R/C planes and am used to doing this.
I tried the trims on the rotary on my X52, and hated it. The response time seemed slower, almost as if the trim movement would continue a bit after I stopped turning the dial or pushing the slider. One night of agony later I put my trims onto my top left HAT switch on the stick- problems solved. I have much "finer" control this way, but maybe that's just me.
I don't like the Auto Combat Trim when using flaps. I like to set my trim (F4U) with the elevator trim just lower than neutral. I may "tweak" it a bit in a fight, but not much. I prefer to fly with the auto trim on, but turn it off when I get into a fight, especially if I am getting ready to drop some flaps.
I get the nose-lift ballooning thing too, but I think my strategy is a bit different. I get nose-lift when my speed is a bit at the top end for each notch of flaps. When in a turn-fight I use flaps to stop the wing-wobble-of-death. So I drop a notch JUST BEFORE I feel that will occur. And another notch a few seconds later for the same reason. My nose doesn't come up much, but rather it doesn't drop. Whatever it takes to fly smoooooth. I put them up before they blow up, again to keep my nose from lifting, and also because if they are blowing back up I'm trying for speed and don't want the drag.
That said, sometimes the nose-lift is a gift from the gods! I use it LOTS for reversals, dropping a notch or two of flaps ASAP as I come over the top. The nose-lift helps your situation here. Raise them back up as you finish the reversal.
I also use the flap induced nose-lift to give me a nice shot. (Opposite of the shot-disrupting situation you describe.) You are dropping flaps, and then fighting the "bounce". Try this- Use the bounce! Don't fight it. When you are behind the bogie setting up for your shot, but still in lag pursuit, drop a notch of flaps to bring your nose up into lead for your shot. I don't shoot until D200 in this situation, and fire as I lose sight of my opponent under the cowl.
In short- don't pull elevator to pull lead for a shot, use your flaps instead. Fine-tune with the elevator if need be, but you'll be able to do it with small movements that don't escalate into the shot-killing bounce. Let the nose-lift help you out. It's predictable! You know it will happen! Fly the F4U long enough and you'll even know how much nose-lift to expect.
I generally do this when I am 200 back from my opponent, with my prop just behind his tail, as he is making a turn. Drop a notch and fire as he disappears under the cowl. POP!
There is a definate speed range where this works best. Too fast and the flaps won't drop, so obviously just fly/shoot as per normal. Too slow, and your flaps are already deployed all the way so it doesn't work there either.
Sounds goofy I guess, but I do it all the time...
MtnMan