Ok, just to clear up a few things.
1. That fish had been out of the water for 30 minutes before I gutted it. Not that it makes any difference. Either it lays there and suffocates and dies or I gut it and it dies. AND unless you are a completely meat and fish free vegan you have no room to criticize about eating that fish, koi or not, pond kept or not, somewhat alive or not. any ideas what a slaughterhouse is like? i know. i've seen one. it ISN'T pretty.
2. I was just a guest on the show. The show wasn't my idea or concept.
3. The only thing I found offensive about the whole thing was the scene with Jane (the woman who owned the house). I had no knowledge of anything that was too take place on the show prior to my arrival, and nothing about her coming out cussing up a storm. (which I am personally ok with but I dont think it was necessary for the show).
Oh, and thanks for all the kind words and support I've received from so many of you. It means a lot to me.