Originally Posted By FrodeMk3
Now, it's not terribly serious like he's on drugs, or got his girlfriend pregnant(He's only 8 anyway!) but here's my dilemma:
I am a coach on his Jr. league football team. My son is fairly well sized for his age, He's not the fastest kid on the team, either. Since I handle the defence and the lineman, I have been choosing the starting spots for those positions. Now, I'm not the only parent that's coaching (2 others, and 1 uncle.) My dilemma is this: I don't want to start my own son, irregardless of his ability, because in the past, I've seen other coaches play their own children, over others that were much more suited, simply because they thought more of they're own kids than what they actually were.
Am I in the wrong? My son Brady enjoys football, They get they're pads, helmets and other gear next week. I don't want the fact that he's not starting to be a letdown. However, The other coaches have been plenty quick to play their own kids(The one that's starting QB is atrocious, compared to 2 or 3 others), But I've tried to balance the diplomacy between parents and coaches by NOT starting my own boy.
What do I do? I know I'm being unfair to Brady. But if I give him a starting spot, I'm an instant Prima-Donna. He's a good enough Lineman, either O or D. Should I wait and see what happens when Full-gear practices start up, and see who man's up, or who withers on the vine?
I've had a lotta anxiety about this for the last 2-3 months of pre-season practices now. Hopefully, he'll hit hard enough to justify anything I do with him.
Frode,
The one thing that I always told parent that didn't like the way I was handling their kids when I was coaching was "This is a volunteer position, and you didn't volunteer. Please have a seat. Thank you." That generally cooled them off and gave them something to think about.
If you think that your son has the ability to be a starter in a given position, start him there. I don't believe you should hold your own son back for the benefit of others, especially if he's better qualified. What kind of message does that send?
You stated that you know its unfair to him, and you're correct. But, it's also unfair to the other boy who would get a starting spot he didn't earn. I would equate that to giving him a false sense of his abilities. Moreover, its unfair to the team. As a Coach I think its your responsibility to:
1: Teach the game
2: Teach good sportsmanship
3: Put them in the best position for success.
Passing on a player because hes YOUR son would negate #3.
Evaluate your players, talk to the coaches, make yourself available to the parents if they have an issue with your decision and calmly explain why you've made it. I'd also offer suggestions on ways THEY can help their son improve so maybe he has a better shot at starting the next game.
In the end, remind them (and yourself) that its just a game.
(maybe throw in a "Winning isn't everything, BUT LOSING SUCKS!")
Originally posted by john9001
i'm going to sound really radical here, 8 yr olds don't need coaches to play football, all they need is a football and a open field, they will pick their own teams and a day after the "game" they won't remember who won, just that they had fun.
Thats not exactly true, my 8 year old can remember every game, from LAST year!!! At that age about half the kids, maybe more, are starting to become aware of their capabilities and shortcomings, and really try to make improvements.
