« previous next »
Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6   Go Down

Author Topic: If you could ask God one question...  (Read 2472 times)

Offline Neubob

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2446
      • My Movie Clip Website
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #60 on: August 14, 2007, 11:48:14 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by 68Hawk
Wait, if God is of the opposite gender, can we ask for sex?

You know if he/she made it so good they must enjoy it, or at least support its propagation.

Either way, there must certainly be a sense of humor up there, and the flattery may buy you brownie points.


Again, that would be a request, not a question (unless of course you're just asking for an answer as to whether you can have whatever you're asking for, and not the actual thing itself)...

However, if this thread allows a request, I'd just ask for god's job and pretty much call it a day. Granted, I'd suck at it pretty hard, but, then again, what would I care if the world turned to ****? When all was said and done, I'd still be god.
Logged

Offline Holden McGroin

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 8591
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #61 on: August 14, 2007, 11:52:48 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Neubob
However, if this thread allows a request, I'd just ask for god's job and pretty much call it a day. Granted, I'd suck at it pretty hard, but, then again, what would I care if the world turned to ****? When all was said and done, I'd still be god.


I saw a documentary where a pretty normal guy did get God's job for a few weeks.

He made his dog pee in the toilet and made his GF breasts grow larger.
Logged
Holden McGroin LLC makes every effort to provide accurate and complete information. Since humor, irony, and keen insight may be foreign to some readers, no warranty, expressed or implied is offered. Re-writing this disclaimer cost me big bucks at the lawyer’s office!

Offline ink

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 11274
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #62 on: August 15, 2007, 01:17:12 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Chairboy
Ink, if god exists, then the abilities you have are his wish, right?  The capability of thought and curiosity, even with that whole misunderstanding about the apple, are the result of his wish.  

With that in mind, how happy would you make your god if you just mewled for forgiveness instead of using your noggin to make best use of the opportunity?  

Presumably, he "receives" your thoughts and prayers and absolutions 24x7, I doubt he'd be terribly satisfied that Man, his greatest creation (just paraphrasing the scriptures here) would WASTE that opportunity to do something he can do any other time?

If you built a hotrod, and it could only honk its horn, would you be satisfied with that?


I fear no man for they can only hurt the body...

 BUT I  FEAR GOD BECAUSE HE CAN DESTROY MY SPIRIT
Logged

Offline Arlo

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 24760
Re: If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #63 on: August 15, 2007, 01:48:13 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by RedDg
and only ONE question.  What would it be?


I would ask why he put men and women together.


I would ask God to explain sex to RedDg. ;)
Logged

Offline hunter128

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 285
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #64 on: August 15, 2007, 02:19:13 AM »
Quote
If you could ask God one question...



hmmm....

Why does he need my money?
:D
Logged
Darth2
71 'Eagle' Squadron RAF
"I strive for better flying....when I'm not flying into the ground"
"By the way, this entire thread is dumber than a sack of dead cats....." - Widewing

Offline JB88

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 10980
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #65 on: August 15, 2007, 02:40:43 AM »
"well the god i believe in isn't short of cash, mister." - bono

:cool:
Logged
this thread is doomed.
www.augustbach.com  

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. -Ulysses.

word.

Offline B@tfinkV

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 5751
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #66 on: August 15, 2007, 02:48:29 AM »
"hey god, why is it when i wake up with morning wood i also need to urinate urgently? Is this not a punishment worse than hell? Do you intend that i stand at the other side of my bathroom and go for a lob shot? Is it right for me to expect someone else to clear up mine mortal spatterings or is it god's will that i wait untill the blood flow lessens before i relieve my bladder on such mornings?"


oh...just one question? damn.
Logged
 400 yrds on my tail, right where i want you... [/size]

VWE

  • Guest
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #67 on: August 15, 2007, 02:51:07 AM »
God... why do we have 5 seperate MA's?
Logged

Offline Guppy35

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 20388
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #68 on: August 15, 2007, 03:35:23 AM »
Why did my kids have to die in a car wreck that day 2 years ago August 28th?

Been asking it ever since.  I'd really like an answer.
Logged
Dan/CorkyJr
8th FS "Headhunters

Offline JB88

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 10980
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #69 on: August 15, 2007, 03:50:26 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Guppy35
Why did my kids have to die in a car wreck that day 2 years ago August 28th?

Been asking it ever since.  I'd really like an answer.


so very sorry for your loss guppy.   you have my deepest condolences.  

i hope that time will bring you the answers that you seek and offer you solice from your suffering.



88
Logged
this thread is doomed.
www.augustbach.com  

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. -Ulysses.

word.

Offline Jackal1

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9092
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #70 on: August 15, 2007, 06:47:02 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by 68Hawk
Lazs, Chairboy,

Damnit this has been so overdone.

If you really want to rehash this silliness can you take it somewhere else?  Neither of you is going to convince the other.

I'm now going to ask God for his recommendations on the best way to bang your head against a wall!


There will be no lashing out at those lashing out at lashing out.
Oh God...why is it all soooooo confusing? :rofl
Logged
Democracy is two wolves deciding on what to eat. Freedom is a well armed sheep protesting the vote.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Offline CptTrips

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 8876
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #71 on: August 15, 2007, 10:07:55 AM »
God, if you are all powerful, can you make a rock so heavy that you can not lift it?
Logged
Toxic, psychotic, self-aggrandizing drama queens simply aren't worth me spending my time on.

Offline Red Tail 444

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2497
      • http://www.redtail.org
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #72 on: August 15, 2007, 12:50:29 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Guppy35
Why did my kids have to die in a car wreck that day 2 years ago August 28th?

Been asking it ever since.  I'd really like an answer.


We'd all like an answer to that one, Guppy, sorry for your loss.
Logged

Offline AWMac

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9251
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #73 on: August 15, 2007, 02:04:36 PM »
"What's the wingspan velocity of an unladen swallow?"

Crap... Nevermind.

:confused:

Mac
Logged

Offline ink

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 11274
If you could ask God one question...
« Reply #74 on: August 15, 2007, 04:10:19 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Guppy35
Why did my kids have to die in a car wreck that day 2 years ago August 28th?

Been asking it ever since.  I'd really like an answer.




guppy
no words can express your pain,
the one thought that comes to mind,(and yes ive had very close family members die most of us have) is now they wont be ruined by this very messed up world,  when i was 10 years old my brother died he was 14, he was the only one that treated me good,  i loved him very much.
   now i thank GOD for taking him out of this EVIL world,  it does not get rid of the pain but it helps.
   i would say they were to innocent for this world.

i am sorry for your loss
Logged
Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6   Go Up
« previous next »