Hate to shop?

[RedDg]

I sure do...


After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.


2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone ?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least,

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,
Wal-Mart

[GtoRA2]

Those sound fun!

[john9001]

it should be titled "fun things to do when shopping"

[AWMac]

I just do the Unusual drool, Contorted face,  while draggin my left leg behind the wifey while I push the cart... well until she looks back then it's like I'm normal and straight faced "What????"...

I'm sure the other women see it too because they turn around and look at their Husbands and all over you ear "What???" echoing.

Had other guys see this too and joined me in the Zombie Shopping Husband Dance... I't hilarious to see other Husbands join in, each trying to better the other Zombie Husband.  Some really great technics out there. We pass on alotta Thumbs Up!

My wife refuses to take me shopping anymore...

I just missed the Walmart Death Drag... I was a Contender!!!!

Mac

[Sweet2th]

Originally posted by RedDg
You might be a RedNeck if you've ever.....


 Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

 Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

 Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away.'

 Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

 Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

 When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone ?'

 Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

 While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

 In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

 Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least,

 Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,
Wal-Mart

You know if you take the #'s and dates out , all you really posted is a Jeff Foxworthy comedy routine.