Give her your car in the mean time? Seeing you working non-stop to find a solution should be as good as having a solution found and implemented, if you didn't wreck it on purpose and she's any sort of reasonable.
I don't know about the specifics, but if you need a solid VW resource, the vwvortex forums should have the info you're after. I can't tell how long they'd take to reply with the answers you want, though.
You ran the car's open door into that post, right? No direct impact on the rest of the car's frame?