Author Topic: Flying Humor  (Read 218 times)

Offline Dichotomy

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Flying Humor
« on: September 14, 2007, 07:24:03 PM »
A C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-18 pilot flew up next to him.

The fighter pilot told the C-130 pilot, "watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb! He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.

The F-18 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"

Puzzled,! The F-18 pilot asked, "What the hell did you do?"

The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, used the bathroom , then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll."



Got any flying humor?  Do share
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline Hornet33

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Flying Humor
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2007, 08:15:48 PM »
This is a story my dad told me. He was a flight engineer on C-5's for many years.

He told me they were coming back from Guam one time and the plane was empty. About half way between Guam and Honolulu they had a couple of F-14's from a carrier come up and join on them. He said one of the F-14 pilots called on the radio and started asking them a bunch of questions like how does it feel to fly a trash hauler and stuff like that. My dad said he called them back and told them to wait one so he could go get the AC who was down in the cargo bay playing football with the other engineer and the load masters.
AHII Con 2006, HiTech, "This game is all about pissing off the other guy!!"

Offline Dichotomy

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Flying Humor
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2007, 09:03:47 PM »
:lol

Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ..I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing! (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan).

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore -test pilot)

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky. (From an old carrier sailor)

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up,...the pilot dies.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh S!#%!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten. Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; ...it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the b@s#%#$d down. (Ernest K. Gann, author &aviator)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. (Author unknown, but surely someone who's been there)

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline Dichotomy

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Flying Humor
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2007, 09:15:52 PM »


Skyrock? ;)
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline Latrobe

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Flying Humor
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2007, 09:23:34 PM »
AH2 veteran: "Why are you crying?"
Newbie: "Min-eny won't let me fly my La-7."

:D