Eskimo, I spent all day yesterday as I worked w/ a 3 inch thumb assist knife in my buttcrack. I did this in an effort to debunk your story. Sadly, I learned that if you sit on the thumb assist button directly that it causes the blade to spring forth.
I spent the night in the ER, face down on a stretcher as various Dr's, nurses, reporters, and LEO's came in to observe my horrific wound. I have no idea what they thought was so funny. Fortunately, it's not yet illegal to stick a knife in your own butt so no charges will be filed.
Although I'm pretty sure I'm not a homosexual, I can no longer lay claim to being a virgin.......sharp stabbing pain.
The manufacturer of the knife has agreed to change the name of their product to "thumb and buttcrack assist" knife. There will be a significant settlement forthcoming and I believe some video from the ER will be in a new Public Service announcement on knife safety. I hope they blur my face.
Great story Eskimo, well done.. hysterical. Thank you for the huge guffaws.
