Author Topic: The Guys Rules  (Read 635 times)

Offline DREDIOCK

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 17775
The Guys Rules
« on: October 12, 2007, 03:08:29 PM »
Might be a repost .
But well worth re reading.
Or sending to your favorite female who doesnt understand men


We always hear " the rules "
>From the female side.

 


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!


1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

 See a doctor.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one

13. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.

24. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

And Last but not least

251. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

.Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Death is no easy answer
For those who wish to know
Ask those who have been before you
What fate the future holds
It ain't pretty

Offline john9001

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9453
The Guys Rules
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2007, 03:39:03 PM »
been posted, but worth repeating. :D

Offline FBBone

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 549
The Guys Rules
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2007, 04:27:18 PM »
yep, that one never gets old!:D

Offline ChickenHawk

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1010
Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2007, 04:44:01 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by DREDIOCK

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.


Number 16 really dates this one but I still read each line every time I see it and can't help but laugh and nod.  An oldie but a goodie.
Do not attribute to malice what can be easily explained by incompetence, fear, ignorance or stupidity, because there are millions more garden variety idiots walking around in the world than there are blackhearted Machiavellis.

Offline Tigeress

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1260
The Guys Rules
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2007, 04:49:43 PM »
Is this one of those Lazs "Manly Men Only" NGA  threads? :rofl

Just popped in for a peek! :p

TIGERESS

Offline DREDIOCK

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 17775
The Guys Rules
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2007, 05:19:52 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Tigeress
Is this one of those Lazs "Manly Men Only" NGA  threads? :rofl

Just popped in for a peek! :p

TIGERESS


Nope. Women are allowed and even encouraged to read "the guy rules"

now whether they pay any attention to them or not is another story LOL
Death is no easy answer
For those who wish to know
Ask those who have been before you
What fate the future holds
It ain't pretty

Offline Tigeress

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1260
The Guys Rules
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2007, 05:43:36 PM »
Ahhhh ok... then its safe to wander in... didn't want to get testosterone on me. hahahaha

hummmm about rule 8....

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a Doctor


I had a headache that lasted several months.

I finally went to the Doctor.

He helped me figure out how to get ride of my headache.

When I got home I told my boyfriend of several months to hit the trail! :rofl

TIGERESS

Offline DREDIOCK

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 17775
The Guys Rules
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2007, 05:48:01 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Tigeress
Ahhhh ok... then its safe to wander in... didn't want to get testosterone on me. hahahaha

hummmm about rule 8....

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a Doctor


I had a headache that lasted several months.

I finally went to the Doctor.

He helped me figure out how to get ride of my headache.

When I got home I told my boyfriend of several months to hit the trail! :rofl

TIGERESS


there ya go.
so long as you were able to idenify the cause and effect LOL

BTW I finally managed to send that PM to ya
Death is no easy answer
For those who wish to know
Ask those who have been before you
What fate the future holds
It ain't pretty

Offline Tigeress

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1260
The Guys Rules
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2007, 05:56:55 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by DREDIOCK
there ya go.
so long as you were able to idenify the cause and effect LOL

BTW I finally managed to send that PM to ya


KK, tanks!

TIGERESS

PS: I don't like that toilet seat one... booo

Offline DREDIOCK

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 17775
The Guys Rules
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2007, 06:01:29 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Tigeress
KK, tanks!

TIGERESS

PS: I don't like that toilet seat one... booo


Look at it this way.

Just be happy we lift it at all :D
Death is no easy answer
For those who wish to know
Ask those who have been before you
What fate the future holds
It ain't pretty

Offline Dichotomy

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 12391
The Guys Rules
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2007, 06:18:39 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Tigeress
Ahhhh ok... then its safe to wander in... didn't want to get testosterone on me. hahahaha

hummmm about rule 8....

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a Doctor


I had a headache that lasted several months.

I finally went to the Doctor.

He helped me figure out how to get ride of my headache.

When I got home I told my boyfriend of several months to hit the trail! :rofl

TIGERESS


:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

psssttttt  too bad on the toilet seat thing we LIKE hearing yall fall in in the middle of the night :)
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline john9001

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9453
The Guys Rules
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2007, 06:21:29 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Tigeress

I had a headache that lasted several months.

I finally went to the Doctor.

He helped me figure out how to get ride of my headache.

When I got home I told my boyfriend of several months to hit the trail! :rofl

TIGERESS


 :lol

Offline Tigeress

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1260
The Guys Rules
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2007, 06:28:24 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Look at it this way.

Just be happy we lift it at all :D


Been there... OMG!

mmmmm... sounds like binding arbitration time :p

Like... I wont throw away the well known men's holey worn out Favorite Teeshirt and Jeans "by accident" kinda arbitration...

What do you think? :rofl

TIGERESS

Offline texasmom

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6078
Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2007, 08:37:16 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by DREDIOCK 15. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. [/B]


Considering he was so very far off from where he believed he was... this one should probably be removed.  

He did indeed need directions... and so do most of y'all.:)
<S> Easy8
<S> Mac

Offline Hornet33

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2487
The Guys Rules
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2007, 08:43:54 PM »
The only problem with that list is that they should all be number 1. There is NO order that those rules should be followed or understood. They are all equally important:aok
AHII Con 2006, HiTech, "This game is all about pissing off the other guy!!"