Originally posted by lazs2
tigress.. that works both ways. I have always heard from women that they "trusted" me or that they felt "safe" around me but.... it cuts both ways.
When they see the "beast" that is man.. things are never the same. If they beg and whine to hear.. to be "let in" on things in your past that they have heard vaguely about but... you flat know it is not something you should tell em...
If you break down and treat em like an equal or let em in or let em really see... they never look at you the same... you are really a monster... they just never knew it.. they will never understand what the monster really is either.
Smart women don't ask and when they see it.. they try to forget it.
but... it is nothing more than your example.. you thought you knew someone close to you ... that you "understood" his maleness.. you didn't.. just like some who think they know me don't.. still.. men do understand.
lazs
I have to believe that men are human, and that I am also human, Lazs.
…different in ways that our gender diverges; the same in ways that our humanity parallels.
You have told me before that I can't really trust any man to contain his base instincts... no man.
Yet… if I can't trust any man, even one who loves me, what's the point of having a life together or even living?
That's why I cling to hope, Lazs... hope that men really are human.
I admit... I have been doing a lot of crying this morning...
TIGERESS
Edit: John9001 said something on this thread that has been stuck in my mind ever since he wrote it. Something along the lines of "you want to be equal but special."
From his perspective I guess that is right.
I can never be like a man; imo, no woman, ever, can do that and few would want to.
What frustrates me is when I see guys say, but you want to be equal.
What they must think of as equals and what I think of as equals are not the same thing.
That is why I keep going back to "humanity." I don't want to be treated like as a guy by a guy if that is his meaning of equal. I am not his "bud" but I can be friends and a co-worker or a lover.
I have an intellect and have done many things in my life, none of which diminished my femininity in my eyes... the accomplishments, in my mind simply pushed the frontiers of what a "woman" can do, not what a woman who is trying to be like a man can do.
Women like me are stretching the scope of what a woman is able to do
as a woman as we go, in this life.
Why oh why does this appear to be taken as some sort of a threat to them by so many men? How does my accomplishments and those of other women have to have anything to do with men's own self-definition and definition of us as women? I am seriously not trying to be a man whatsoever! I am not trying to redefine men as "less than" or even "equal to" a woman.
Maybe this is all about male ego... maybe you or other men here can help me to try to grasp what is going on here.
I have heroes like Lt. Lilya Litvak - The "White Rose" of Stalingrad and Danica Patrick and women who fly in combat and the women who were Heroes of the Soviet Union.
No wonder I am offended when people trash that... and trash me for pointing these accomplishments out and being proud of them or wanting to be like them and trying to promote women who choose to be in combat zones. Bully for them I say; I wouldn't want to go to Iraq.
Lt. Lilya Litvak was essentially assassinated by 8 men in a coordinated mission designed solely to kill her for making them look like a bunch of beginners getting shot down to the point of her becoming a WWII Ace at their expense because she was a woman and Jewish to boot.
Society is what it is... some people get it; some don't. I am seeing that many men are not getting it at all. There is a serious disconnect.
I don't know if I am ever going to be able to articulate this well enough for men I have a disconnect with on this to understand and that is maddening in the extreme.
I am sure they are terminally frustrated by me as well... I am sorry. I am not trying to frustrate you, promise.
