I agree that sometimes you collide when you didn't THINK you were going to - a position update that moved his aircraft abruptly into yours, and in one instance where I collided and said "NO (bleeping) way!" - it was another aircraft that I never even saw approaching from off-tail, and not the guy I was focusing on as we were in the rolling scissors and whom I was positive I avoided - and which was the only guy I thought was near me.
If it registers a collision for you when you didn't strike an aircraft on your own FE, then I agree - something needs fixed.
And regarding the collision modeling, I can't really speak to that. Are you saying that in your opinion you think that too many times when a player collides with another player he suffers too little damage? Or too much? I rarely collide, so I can't really provide much feedback to that - I don't have enough incidents to draw a conclusion from.
(And when I do collide, 9 times out of 10 it's because I'm struggling for a difficult shot opportunity and I realize I've blown it big-time before it even happens - but it's now too late to do much about it - and pretty much what happens is exactly what I would expect. I die or have too little plane left to fly, and have to bail).
The point about Killshooter is simply meant to draw a parallel as to why anything that eliminated or seriously reduced the likelihood or "seriousness" of a collision would make for a very unenjoyable flight sim - for exactly the same reason that we need Killshooter. Many players wouldn't mind a trade, if it meant taking someone else down with them.