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Author Topic: Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??  (Read 435 times)

Offline gunnss

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« on: February 21, 2008, 05:30:52 PM »
>>Grin<<

Sent to me by a friend in New Jersey:

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Scenario: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.  Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes  with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Beretta Model 96, cal. 40, and you are an expert shot.  You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.  
What do you do?

Democrat's  Answer-----

Well, that's not enough information...........

Does the man look poor!  Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away? What does my wife think?  What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Beretta have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing  me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my  family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I  need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's  Answer------

BANG!

Redneck's  Answer------

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  Click....

(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!  Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Speer Gold Dots?"

Son: "Nice shot, Pop!  Let me shoot the next one?"

Wife: "You are NOT taking that to the taxidermist!"



Regards,
Kevin
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Online Meatwad

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2008, 05:31:38 PM »
redneck :aok
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Offline DieAz

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2008, 08:05:02 PM »
not enough Bangs or too many to be a true redneck.
 you see, a true redneck would have a 18 round mag or three.
that
A, he bought, or
B. rigged up hisself, or
C. got a bestfriend redneck to rig one up for him.
and on top of that it would been rigged for full auto, true redneck style.
it'll spit a lance of fire with 18 bullets at the po dumb feller with the knife.

the true story would be
redneck sees a feller coming at him with a fingernail clipper.
redneck then goes "heh heh heh, hay yall watch dis."
then yanks out his rigged full auto .45 ACP with 18 round redneck friend built mag for him.
braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap
tears the ground up between him and the feller with the fingernail clipper.
feller with the clipper starts to stink really bad, then turn around running with something coming out of his pant leg, screaming about a madman with a, with a, with a, a, a, a, gun.
then the redneck gets to spend some time in a Fed Pen.
after he gets out he can't get a gun, so he makes hisself a bow and some arrows to which he tapes some sticks of 70 years old dynamite. so he'll have him something to defend hisself with.

above story is entirely fictional and in no way depicts anyone living or dead.
that I know of, anyhow.
I don't know what you is talking about.

I ain't no redneck no how. oh wait, I do some farming and my neck is sometimes red.
 oh well. guess I might be a redneck.
any of yall got any good fishing shows taped on the VCR?
I done wore all mine out, need some more.
I liked the one Bill Dance caught hisself a snake and he jumped out of the boat onto a rotten tree that broke and dropped him on the snake so he jumped out of the boat into the water. then the snake came out of the boat, he was scrambling to get back in the boat. or was all that a dream I had?



now I done fergot what was ummmm???

oh nevermind.
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Offline Airscrew

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2008, 08:18:20 PM »
a Redneck wouldnt use a Beretta anything,  more like a 12ga pump, or a Ruger in a 44 or a 45.
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Offline superpug1

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2008, 10:50:09 PM »
Conservative... why? I dont use berrettas, It would have been one round of .45 from a paraordinance 1911 to the center of mass.
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Offline Charon

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2008, 11:58:26 PM »
Wouldn't the redneck one begin... "Here, hold my beer..." :)

Charon
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Offline SteveBailey

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« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2008, 12:05:49 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by superpug1
Conservative... why? I dont use berrettas, It would have been one round of .45 from a paraordinance 1911 to the center of mass.


always double tap.   :aok
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Offline Jackal1

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« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2008, 04:52:38 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Charon
Wouldn't the redneck one begin... "Here, hold my beer..." :)

Charon


I trust nobody with my beer.



:D
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Democracy is two wolves deciding on what to eat. Freedom is a well armed sheep protesting the vote.
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Offline Rino

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« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2008, 04:54:42 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Jackal1
I trust nobody with my beer.



:D


    Geez Louise Jackal..you DO have the gun! :D
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Offline BaDkaRmA158Th

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2008, 05:05:34 AM »
Hillbilly.


Com'er boy..you sure do gotta purdy mouth.
ehy wuh, whurs muh beer!?
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Offline Jackal1

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« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2008, 05:20:22 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Rino
Geez Louise Jackal..you DO have the gun! :D



Just don`t be amessin wid my brew.
:D
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Democracy is two wolves deciding on what to eat. Freedom is a well armed sheep protesting the vote.
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Offline Ghosth

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Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck??
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2008, 06:43:56 AM »
You forgot the best part!

(Redneck) Silly terrorist, who brings a knife to a gun fight?
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Offline john9001

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« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2008, 07:54:35 AM »
a real redneck could shoot a gun and drink a beer at the same time, also a real redneck would not waste that much ammo, bullets is expensive, even at walmart.
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Offline Angus

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« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2008, 07:58:53 AM »
Oh dear, I'm a redneck, or even Dirty Harry!!!
"Do ya feel lucky, PUNK? Do ya???"
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Offline john9001

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« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2008, 08:46:09 AM »
angus, dirty harry was a cop, and not a good cop either, he broke all the rules.
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