Author Topic: Gene Simmons Sex Tape (Read 1463 times)

Charon · « **on:** February 22, 2008, 04:57:23 PM »

Well, while taking a gander over at the Onion's AV Club, I came across this little tid bit: Everything you wanted to know about the Gene Simmons sex tape (but were too nauseated to ask)

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In case you haven't heard--or, more likely, are actively plugging your ears and singing "Strutter" to block it out--a sex tape starring KISS bassist, Family Jewels-man, and Celebrity Apprentice castoff Gene Simmons was recently splattered all across the web like so much fake blood. In it, the epically tongued, hard-rocking icon born as Chaim Witz gets it on with an Austrian "energy drink spokesmodel" known only by the mysterious moniker "Elsa" who "loves to yodel."

This has to be the B-Movie of Sex tapes. One might accuse Gene of setting this up himself for its promotional value, except for the fact that it has about a 180 degree opposite effect from that he would want to achieve.

The link above is fairly work safe, though it has some dirty words and contains additional links to "sample" footage that could be either sleep or nausea producing. Be warned, if you are overly sensitive to such content, don't follow the links at the site then come back and whine about it. If not...

or

But, you don't really need to see the horror. The review at the AV Club is amusing and the snarky comments over at the AV club are, as usual, a hoot and seem to mirror the general public reaction to this "scandal."

Charon

myelo · « **Reply #1 on:** February 22, 2008, 07:19:28 PM »

Well it can't be any more nauseating then hearing him play the bass.

Treize69 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 22, 2008, 07:24:41 PM »

I'm not a fan of Kiss (they only have two "songs" dont they? Detroit Rock City and I Wanna Rock an Roll All Night? They're the only two I've ever heard), but they've had some great gags with him and the rest of the band on Family Guy over the years.

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #3 on:** February 22, 2008, 09:14:47 PM »

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Originally posted by Treize69
I'm not a fan of Kiss (they only have two "songs" dont they? Detroit Rock City and I Wanna Rock an Roll All Night? They're the only two I've ever heard), but they've had some great gags with him and the rest of the band on Family Guy over the years.

I like KISS

Actually they have a few songs that are pretty good that you rarely if ever hear.

"She" is damned good by anyones standards Particularly on the first live album.

As is "Black Diamond" And "Let me go Rock and Roll"

"God of Thunder" is also one of my all time favorites
God Of Thunder -Live

Tell ya what though. Even if you dont like their music, they put on one HELL of a good show

Masherbrum · « **Reply #4 on:** February 22, 2008, 09:53:34 PM »

Sorry, but I've never cared for this band a lick and never will.

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #5 on:** February 22, 2008, 10:09:08 PM »

Ye they are an either love em or hate em type.
Few are in between about them

but I can relate to what your saying.
I've always felt the same way about Bowie

Reschke · « **Reply #6 on:** February 22, 2008, 10:21:12 PM »

Can't stand him, KISS or David Bowie. This is just one more bit of useless knowledge that has now infected my brain.

Captain Virgil Hilts · « **Reply #7 on:** February 22, 2008, 10:25:18 PM »

It should be remembered that Gene Simmons is a living caricature, and is doing it intentionally. He's made a great living from it. And continues to do so.

eagl · « **Reply #8 on:** February 22, 2008, 11:41:00 PM »

For a second I thought that said "Richard Simmons", and I threw up in my mouth a little.

crockett · « **Reply #9 on:** February 22, 2008, 11:46:35 PM »

Well I will say for a guy whom claims to have slept with two thousand women plus.. Well the women must have been pretty bored, judging by his performance.

Meatwad · « **Reply #10 on:** February 23, 2008, 07:28:04 AM »

In my sleepy tiredness, I thought it said "Richard Simmons"

Now im going to have nightmares

Jackal1 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 23, 2008, 07:55:40 AM »

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Originally posted by Masherbrum
I've never cared for this band a lick and never will.

(I nearly choked on the old Juan Valdez when I read this)

Evidently Elsa did.

If it gets to the point that I desire to watch this Bozo having sex I will take up knitting.

Masherbrum · « **Reply #12 on:** February 23, 2008, 07:59:09 AM »

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Originally posted by Jackal1
(I nearly choked on the old Juan Valdez when I read this)

Evidently Elsa did.

If it gets to the point that I desire to watch this Bozo having sex I will take up knitting.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #13 on:** February 23, 2008, 09:19:09 AM »

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Originally posted by myelo
Well it can't be any more nauseating then hearing him play the bass.

Dace · « **Reply #14 on:** February 23, 2008, 10:14:36 AM »

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Originally posted by Masherbrum
Sorry, but I've never cared for this band a lick and never will.

Word.