Here are the members I’ve profiled so far. Profiles feature IQ of member and a quick phrase, quote or sentence that briefly but adequately summarizes what they are:
Name IQ Description
1.) Maverick 41 A career of service, a lifetime of yapping about it
2.) Yeager 39 ‘if you ain’t a US American, like Jezus, yer goin’ to hell!’
3.) AKMac 32 Bag of hot air, mated to a gym whistle, then compressed
4.) MT 71 The warm meat in a Michael Moore/Bill Clinton Sandwich
5.) Texasmom 35 ‘An AIDs cure would only promote irresponsible behavior’
6.) Ripsnort 56 Almost but not quite upper-middle class
7.) Hortlund 87 Irrelevant noises from an irrelevant place
8.) Lasersailor 73 Will lead the impending revolution from his keyboard
9.) Nilsen 97 Pleasant result of successful female/female reproduction
10.) Chairboy 85 Evidence that a gastric bypass is no cure for spinelessness
11.) Angus 67 Hates his parents for not being Russian
12.) Pooh21 51 Random hit-and-run phrase generator
13.) Rich46yo 29 ‘I get paid by the state to extort money from citizens’
14.) Sandman 89 heavily pixilated, 2D simulation of a man with testicles
15.) Skuzzy 67 Oldest virgin in the O’Club
16.) Masherbrun 55 When a baby’s impulse control meets an adult’s body
17.) Storch 91 Keeps a help-wanted sign on the Mexican side of the fence
18.) XMarine 58 Proof that even an opiate addict is more evolved than a cop
19.) Serenity 48 ‘Two walking pineapples ate my homework’
20.) Lazs 89 Secretly a woman. A fat one.
21.) Ramzey 55 Almost ready for semester 3 of Hooked On Phonics
22.) Dowding 84 Well on the way to earning his Islamic kneepads
23.) John9001 31 Always clears his gun. Otherwise, dumb as a box of boxes
24.) Straffo 81 Best of the French, but still French
25.) SteveBailey 34 Going to hell for judging others. Will bunk with H. Ledger
26.) Arlo 88 Copious smilies + dodging the issue = effective rhetoric
27.) HiTech 102 Probably better off spending Skuzzy’s salary on marketing
28.) Viking 81 ‘Vee must exterminate all ze Jews! Heil GSchultz!’
29.) Zetanine 13 Loves the draft. Enjoys slogans. Probable Maverick Spawn.
30.) Mr. Black 157 The true identity of no less than 74% of O’Club members
