Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!

[texasmom]

I'm very glad to hear that.  

[bj229r]

It's VERY hard to figure out what they might want--I think they know that, because after MANY years, I've finally realized my wife gives me vague little hints all the time about things I should get for her when such occasions arise---we might be walking through a store..."OOOHHHH..THIS IS NICE!" (As she walks away, I take a picture of it with my trusty cell phone and catalog it away for future reference) I'm also coming to the realization that such statements are ACTUALLY a test to see if I pay attention to ANYthing she says, and more importantly, CARE about anything she says....Most difficult being married....

[Maverick]

My wife knows that I have a significant hearing loss. The hint bit doesn't work. 

[Hedworx]

The basket that texasmom suggested is a great idea if your getting her the spa certificate.  It appears that you put some time and thought into it instead of it being last minute......although it is.

[Chairboy]

Last year, I got my wife a pistol (Walther P22), a boning knife, and a meat grinder attachment for the KitchenAid.

While there was a risk that I'd be murdered and fed to the neighborhood cats, I proved I had been listening and paying attention to the things she did and wanted, not just the things she dropped obvious hints about.

[Xasthur]

Okay, I just noticed the dreaded, “Does this make my butt look big” question.

The truth, as we all know, sometimes is just, “Yes”.  But hopefully, you are not stupid enough to say it in that many words!…

Okay guys, I am going to share an answer that has worked unbelievably well for me. You will owe me a beer for this one.

When asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” you answer, “Maybe it’s the way (insert SPECIFIC item here) [such as, but not limited to: “That skirt”, “Those Shorts”, “Those pants”, etc.] are cut , but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Okay, she is trying on pants… TEST TIME!

Question, “Does this make my butt look big?”
Answer, “Maybe it’s the way those pants are cut, but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Remember! It is NEVER her butt! It is always the fault of an inanimate object!

You are welcome.

Spot on, mate. You don't need to worry about the 'dreaded' "does my butt look big in this?" if you know a bit about clothes and pay attention to the things she likes.

Some clothes just don't suit certain body types so saying "That cut doesn't sit well on you" is entirely true most of the time.

[SpazMan]

She turns 35.
Suggestions..?!?



(I fully acknowledge that if I'm consulting with the AH2 community for wife-worthy birthday gifts, my ship is probably already sunk, but hey...) 

 

Well.......when do we get the update. All these nice people helping you out, we need to know how it went...

[Hornet33]

Hmmm 5 days since we last heard from him............I wonder where she buried the body?????

[SpazMan]

She might of taken his out of date laptop away.......and kick his a**......