An Amish Farmer, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.
The Amish farmer shouts: 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' (Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have pooped in it.')
The kneeling man shouts back: 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak in English.'
The Amish farmer says: 'Use two hands, you'll get more.'