Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word "diddly". It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, "diddly" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John diddlyed Mary) and intransitive (Mary was diddlyed by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a diddly) or a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a diddly); or an adverb (Mary is diddlying interested in John), and as a noun (Mary is a terrific diddly). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is diddlying beautiful). As you can see, there are very few words with the versatility of "diddly".
Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
 
        Greetings               How the diddly are you?
        Fraud                   I got diddlyed by the car dealer.
        Dismay                  Oh, diddly it!
        Trouble                 Well, I guess I'm diddlyed now.
        Aggression              diddly you.
        Disgust                 diddly me.
        Confusion               What the diddly...?
        Difficulty              I don't understand this diddlying business.
        Despair                 diddlyed again.
        Incompetence            He diddlys up everything.
        Displeasure             What the diddly is going on here?
        Lost                    Where the diddly are we?
        Disbelief               Undiddlyingbelieveable.
        Retaliation             Up your diddlying ass.
        Telling time            I have to work till 5 o-diddlying-clock.
It can be used in an anatomical description -- "He's a diddlying amazinhunk."
It can be used to tell time -- "It's five diddlying thirty."
It can be used in business -- "How did I wind up with this diddlying job?"
It can be maternal -- as in "Motherdiddlyer".
It can be political -- "diddly George Bush."
And, never forget General Custer's last words: "Where did all them diddlying Indians come from?"
Or the Mayor of Hiroshima: "What the diddly was that?"
And last, but not least, the immortal words of the Captain of the Titanic: "Where is all this diddlying water coming from?"
The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say diddly?
Use it frequently in your daily speech; it adds to your prestige.
Today - say to someone "diddly You!"