Hello,
I think it may be time for me to move along, as I understand the wishes of the fine folks who run the board. I respect their decision, and harbor no ill will.
A few months ago, I received the 'Probation' label for posting an animated GIF of a dog jumping out of a car in the 'Funny images' thread and for responding to someone else's Rot13'd text with the same. I requested clarification and was told what I had violated, and I understood. I re-read the rules (I recommend doing so occasionally, it's easy to forget some of them) and have continued in my O'Club career with care and respect. As time passed, I realized that there was no timeframe attached to the badge and started to wonder. I didn't really want to let it get to me, but it's been sitting there for a few months now with no sign of disappearing, and this may sound funny, but it's really starting to bug me. After a certain point, it felt like I was wearing a "scarlet letter" of sorts that automatically places all of my posts in the 'This was written by a troublemaker and deserves no further consideration' category.
Like everyone else, my presence here is 'at will' and I accept that if it is so decided, my account can be removed at any time. After a few months of this label, I'm starting to get the feeling that perhaps I'm being gently urged out the door. I can only assume that the fact the 'probation' label hasn't gone away yet means that it's a permanent mark, and that as such, I am no longer welcome.
I appreciate the hard work the HTC team has put into creating and maintaining this BBS, and I've had some amazing times here. The sense of community has really been fantastic, and some of my most memorable moments here include sharing the birth of my sons, my search for my brother when he was killed in the Christmas 2004 Tsunami (and the support given), documenting the lessons as I learned to fly, and more. These are just my own personal experiences, I've also been with many of you as you've gone through the same types of things, and my family and I have spent time talking about and sending our best wishes to those of you in troubled situations. I've laughed, I've cried, and I've made some great friends, a few enemies, and a bunch of very respected adversaries.
The reason I'm writing this is because I didn't want to just disappear. I respect HTC's defacto decision and while I am saddened, I will choose instead to focus on the years of fantastic times I've had here instead. Skuzzy, mods, it's a thankless job, but you guys have created a real community, and it's been great. I haven't found a place yet elsewhere where I feel as comfortable and welcome as I did here in the past, and that's a measure of the success you've had in putting something special together.
I'll still drop in once in a while and read some of the threads, but I'm not sure I really feel comfortable contributing anymore for the reasons I mentioned above.
I wish all of you well, and if anyone wants to see what I'm up to, I'm still at hallert.net or in email as ben@vipmail.com. The world might tilt on its axis tomorrow and dump me back in your laps, but on the likely chance that it won't, au revoir and thank you all for the ride, it's been a blast.
♫We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do,
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.♫
Best regards,
Ben Hallert
Chairboy
