Cmustard, I think you can avoid all this junk so far if you just post any complaints you have in a completely objective way - so no opinions or anything, other than why you dislike something. And please don't act emotional about it. Once you've done that, there's really not too much anyone can complain about in your posts.
As to your points, I'd say that:
1) I don't entirely understand what you're trying to say, but I'll assume that you mean "when a person that you've joined as a gunner bails out, you remain in the plane and go spinning down to the ground with the plane". I see why this happens, however I think it would be more realistic if the gunner were able to bail out as well.
2) I'm really not sure about this point at all.
3) This makes sense, as ack will damage whatever it hits, whether it's an enemy or a friendly aircraft.
As to your later point about puffy ack, I'd agree that something definitely has to be done about it.
<S>
Yossarian