Not afraid to die anymore

[moot]

I almost died earlier this week.. Was coming down from the mountain, as usual, at max speed on a mountain bike, smooth and steep asphalt road, wearing no protection except light biking gloves and shoes.  Came around a tightening radius right hander that's usualy empty (at 4.30am), two slow-poke cars ahead, I go for the outside pass, but dont take the time to plan the pass... Before I remember it's there, I hit the thick and high dividing curb (maybe 6-8 inches or more), and bounce off it (would've cartwheeled but for the front wheel suspension) a mere inch or two past an oncoming car at maybe 60mph closing speed, almost perfectly head-on... The last thoughts before impact were wether I should try and hang off a bit more to cushion the course correction while I looked at the car ahead's rear view mirror to see whether the driver got a laught out of the sight...  I wasn't even dreading it. 

The day I die's gonna be a happy day, that's all I need to know

[cpxxx]

It's good not to be scared of dying. Life is for living. Death should only enter into the discussion in terms of avoiding it as long as possible.  As I believe death is the end, at least of our consciousness. It's not something to be embraced. I went under general anaesthic once. What startled me about it was the lack of perception that time passed. It was an on off switch. One second I was lying waiting for the operation then it was all over four hours later. If I died on the operating table that would have been it. Which is what death is. The end. Nothing to be scared of then. But nothing to look forward to either. Which I suppose is why so many people invent an afterlife. Wishful thinking.

I'd love to be wrong but I doubt it. Right now I believe my only chance of living on is through my baby son who even now is trying to grab the mouse off the computer table while hanging onto the printer cable. So must stop writing now.

[DREDIOCK]

Forget about not being afraid to die anymore

It means nothing if your afraid to live

Combine a lack of fear of death. With a lack of fear of life..

Then you really have something

[texasmom]

moot, glad you finished your ride safely.

[LePaul]

What's got you so concerned?  I recall the cholesterol thread a few days ago

I can relate to your "worrying".  When my coworker nearly died, it set me into being healthier and treating my body better.  I've become one of those healthnuts I used to so enjoy mocking! 

I have no idea what's kept me worrying about heart health and all that.  Perhaps because I'd had some sort of guilt for not taking health more seriously.  Its not like I am in any sort of trouble, someone else's issue sparked my own awareness.

So like you, I'm trying to wind down and just live life.  Not every pain and body ache is a symptom of bigger trouble, so I need to stop trying to over-analyze things    Too much idle time,to many medical reads, me thinks!
 

[storch]

why not live until you no longer do?  people never cease to amaze me.

[LePaul]

why not live until you no longer do?  people never cease to amaze me.

I hear a lot of people who do things their way, do all the bad things and don't care.  Then I see these people at the hospital, with great regret, for not taking better care of themselves.

And of course, a great many just shrug and say they've had the time of their life. 

I'd like to be the latter   

[33Vortex]

Always have been, always thought about it, worried, obsessed. Often, when in bed and unable to sleep, I would immerse myself in the sheer magnitude and totality of death, and how cruel and unfair and disrespectfully trifling it seemed.

Then, about 3 days ago, it just hit me. Some sort of revelation. Now, a brief disclaimer: I'm not religious at all, never have been, never will be. But that day, I just realized that this body I'm in right now doesn't represent the beginning of me, nor will it define the ending. No reason, no event, nothing I ate drank or smoked... Just happened.

Crazy thing is, it's made me so much happier. I enjoy talking to people a little bit more, enjoy the minutiae of life a little bit more. The moment I starting taking every minute as just another slide in this grand experience, rather than another tick towards a dark and inevitable end, everything became so much more clear.

I must live as best I can, fullfill as many of my dreams as I can, be as nice as I can to those who deserve it, and the rest will take care of itself. No matter what happens, or doesn't happen, everything will be alright.

I'm happy for you, life will be so much better now!