Author Topic: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road  (Read 2560 times)

Offline slipknot

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How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« on: June 23, 2008, 09:13:37 AM »
Was driving on the highway yesterday when a couple bikers, with their 'old ladies', came up behind me. 2 guys, one in his early-mid 30s, the other a bit older. Both looked like they really wanted to pass off as bad-asses. Small metal stormtrooper helmets, sleavless jackets, tattoos. The works. The bikes were both custom choppers, one with monkey hanger bars, the other most classic--with black leather saddlebags(or whatever you call them). Both were conservatively painted, and more resembled classy collector bikes than outlaw gang bikes--but then again, I'm no expert. They really wanted to look tough. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. They did, however, correctly bank on the fact that I would not swerve and make small red spots out of them.

We were in the far left lane, doing about 75, and they were riding my bumper at a distance of about 2-3 yards. I sped up, made some more distance, but they closed it as fast as it had appeared. I tried doing it again and with the same result. At this point I was starting to close in on the car ahead of me, and really had no way to go but change lanes--which I refused to do because our speed was good enough for the far left, I didn't want to slow down, and I certainly didn't want to reward these hoots by letting them through.

So I gradualy let off on the gas, and watched the speed creep down to about 65.

At 60 the bikers were pretty much in my glove compartment, so I swallowed my pride and changed lanes to let them through. The younger of the two, as he passed, barked some inaudible words at me, then spits on the windshield.

As they cruised away, I watched them do the same tailgate routine to the next couple cars before they finally faded into the distance.

I know some of you guys are avid bikers, and am just curious--what the hell am I supposed to do in this situation? Yielding to every jerk who decides that 20 mph above the speed limit isn't enough, in my opinion, isn't a viable option. Then again, neither is sideswiping them into oncoming traffic--so what is the protocol here?

« Last Edit: June 23, 2008, 09:30:02 AM by slipknot »

Offline Cthulhu

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2008, 09:16:14 AM »
Texas Rules of Engagement:

1) Slower traffic keep right.
2) If someone spits on your car, shoot the SOB.
"Think of Tetris as a metaphor for life:  You spend all your time trying to find a place for your long thin piece, then when you finally do, everything you've built disappears"

Offline ramzey

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2008, 09:27:57 AM »
Texas Rules of Engagement:

1) Slower traffic keep right.
2) If someone spits on your car, shoot the SOB.

there is no "slower traffic" if you drive above speed limit

 :furious


Offline AKIron

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2008, 09:31:14 AM »
Wash your windshield and accept that there will always be people who need to make themselves feel good about themselves by treating others poorly. A flaw in their character, not yours.
Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline APDrone

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2008, 09:37:48 AM »
...
 At this point I was starting to close in on the car ahead of me, and really had no way to go but change lanes--which I refused to do because our speed was good enough for the far left, I didn't want to slow down, and I certainly didn't want to reward these hoots by letting them through.

At 60 the bikers were pretty much in my glove compartment, so I swallowed my pride and changed lanes to let them through.
...

Well, as Cthulhu mentioned..

Slower traffic keep right.  Had that been adhered, the spitting probably wouldn't have happened.

What concerns me, though, is which I refused to do because our speed was good enough for the far left.  By who's judgement is that? You're already over the speed limit.. is it now a crime because somebody wants to go even faster than you are?

The other thing so I swallowed my pride and changed lanes to let them through.  Why do you consider it swallowing your pride when you're simply excercising common courtesy?   Or.. at least what USED to be common courtesy.

I don't understand why the bikers didn't pass you on the right if there was room for you to move over to start with.
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Offline Gryffin

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2008, 09:39:28 AM »
So you were holding up traffic in the left lane? You were in the wrong.

Offline Cthulhu

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2008, 09:40:24 AM »
there is no "slower traffic" if you drive above speed limit

 :furious


Used to drive the 405 to work in Long Beach. Forgot how hard it was get anywhere in CA. So slow you could smell the guys breath beside you. Call us rebels here, but the police barely take notice unless your going 15 over the limit. And if you really want to get somewhere in a hurry, follow one when he's headed back to the barn at the end of his shift. 75+ ;)
"Think of Tetris as a metaphor for life:  You spend all your time trying to find a place for your long thin piece, then when you finally do, everything you've built disappears"

Offline Cthulhu

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2008, 09:46:43 AM »
So you were holding up traffic in the left lane? You were in the wrong.
Gonna catch Hell for this, but I've heard those folks called:

"Left Lane Bandits", or my personal favorite, "The Anti-Destination League"

 :D "I say, I say, it's a joke son" :D
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Offline slipknot

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2008, 09:47:06 AM »
Well, as Cthulhu mentioned..

Slower traffic keep right.  Had that been adhered, the spitting probably wouldn't have happened.

What concerns me, though, is which I refused to do because our speed was good enough for the far left.  By who's judgement is that? You're already over the speed limit.. is it now a crime because somebody wants to go even faster than you are?

The other thing so I swallowed my pride and changed lanes to let them through.  Why do you consider it swallowing your pride when you're simply excercising common courtesy?   Or.. at least what USED to be common courtesy.

I don't understand why the bikers didn't pass you on the right if there was room for you to move over to start with.

I was the last car in a small line of cars on the left lane. We were all moving a couple miles per hour faster than the rest of traffic. I didn't want to give up my position because I was maintaining my speed, at a safe distance from the guy ahead. I was not the one dictating the speed of the lane, mind you, simply sticking with the speed of the lead car--some distance up ahead.

As far as common courtesy, I have no problem with it had they not started off by tailgating at a compeltely inappropriate distance. The right lane was partially clear during this little incident, and yes, they could have passed me, but they didn't. They insisted on pushing me out of the way. Once I realized that their need to squeeze me out was stronger than my need to hold my ground, I moved. The right lane was moving slightly slower, so I ended up having to slow down not long after changing lanes.

Pride is silly in this situation, but I'm only human, and in sticking to my guns, I don't believe I did anything that was out of line. I do not think it is my duty to yield to any salamander who decides that he must endanger himself and everyone around him every time the entire lane isn't moving as fast as he wants to.


Offline slipknot

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2008, 09:48:38 AM »
So you were holding up traffic in the left lane? You were in the wrong.

Once again, I was not holding anybody up. I was going the speed that was chosen by the lead car--which was 10-12 cars ahead of us. After I got out of the way, the bikers continued to squeeze everyone in that lane until I lost sight of them. There were at least several chances for them to pass on the right, but they continued to tailgate.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2008, 09:51:37 AM by slipknot »

Offline Swoop

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2008, 09:54:35 AM »
Speaking on behalf of the slightly more curteous members of the biking world, I would like to apologise to Slippy here for those two spitting on his vehicle.  There is no excuse for causing damage or projecting disgusting bodily fluids to anothers vehicle.  Frankly, if some **** had spit on my bike he/she/it would suddenly find a gloved fist appearing through the window at the next set of traffic lights.

However, speaking for myself.......there is nothing more annoying than some numpty who seems to think 90 is a reasonable to speed to sit in the outside line with two lanes clear inside him because.....in about 2 miles.....he's gonna have to pull out again to overtake that truck in the middle lane.  Awwwww, poor baby, don't like to turn that steering wheel in case it falls off?  Don't wanna wear your indicators out?  GET OUT OF MY ******* WAY!  ****!  And **** *** and your ****** with a **** ******** and **** **** ******** and a kipper!

Ahem.  Sorry about that, my road rage apparently also manifests itself when merely thinking about it......

I even get narked when there's a big queue of traffic in the outside lane with a lane clear on the inside.  I sit there behind someone shouting "Who exactly are you overtaking, the invisible ****ing man?! Why are you in the outside lane you ****?"  And then a little voice inside says "Same reason you are Swoop....."



I don't see this as the domain of bikers though, I'd be exactly the same in a car......I want to cruise at 115.  Just cos you don't is no reason to get in my way if there's another lane clear on the inside.  If a car comes up behind me I'll move over, it's happened.  Not often, but it's happened.  Unsure why though, if my understanding of American traffic law is correct, these bikers didn't just change lanes themselves, I thought it was legal to undertake on US freeways?  It's not on British ones.....hence me getting narked at car drivers who want the outside lane all to themselves.  A copper told me once "if there was room to undertake then there was room to move over."  Doesn't matter though, I'm still guilty of dangerous driving in the eyes of the law if I undertake.



Offline Megalodon

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2008, 09:57:32 AM »
There Ape hangers! and get hell of the fast lane if someone wants to go faster is the protocol car, bike or tricycle.
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Offline Carrel

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2008, 10:01:03 AM »
"We were in the far left lane, doing about 75, and they were riding my bumper at a distance of about 2-3 yards. I sped up, made some more distance, but they closed it as fast as it had appeared. I tried doing it again and with the same result. At this point I was starting to close in on the car ahead of me..."

In California you have to move over to allow faster vehicles to pass. I've been going 95 down I-5 before and moved into a slower lane to allow cars to pass.

That said slipknot you sound like you're an agressive driver- probably because, judging by the tone of your posts, you're so frustrated and angry- I'm glad you live in Texas, as we have enough idiots on the roads out here.

Offline slipknot

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2008, 10:03:06 AM »
There Ape hangers! and get hell of the fast lane if someone wants to go faster is the protocol car, bike or tricycle.

Ok, I get it. Somebody wants to go faster, you yield... Which is what I did. Granted, there was a delay, but I yeilded to the salamander after he acted like a salamander. I rewarded his salamanderish behavior by giving him the lane so that he could repeat his salamanderish behavior.

The focus of this situation was the spitting, and what does a guy do when faced with such a situation. Protocol or not, I don't think that spitting is a reasonable response for causing the guy to wait before overtaking.

Offline slipknot

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Re: How to deal with jerkoff bikers on the road
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2008, 10:04:44 AM »
Thanks for the psycho-analysis, Carrel. I've never even been to texas.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2008, 10:06:40 AM by slipknot »