Right now here is what I have identified as my main problems:
1. Keeping the enemy in sight. About 80%of the time after the merge, I lose sight and I know that is bad.
This is probably one of the most important things of all. Loosing sight 80% of the time means that at best 80% of your fights will most likely end badly for you. So getting better at this, for now, should be your #1 priority. If you loose sight of em, they will almost certainly be in your rear-quarter somewhere, and most likely saddling up for a shot - so look for em there first. Make sure you have a good view system sorted out on your joystick which is easy to access and intuitive. I use my 8-way hat on my throttle with another button as the UP modifier - this will be the most common set up. Also, if you haven't, adjust your head position for all views so you can clearly see around cockpit obstacles. Pay particular attention to looking around as much of the headrest/seat armour in your 6-views as possible. Once you have that sorted, then its just a matter of getting used to it, and the only way to do that is by practising lots with someone in the TA doing some close-in knife-fighting etc. The less you loose sight of them, the better your outcomes will tend to be.
2. Stalling and blacking out. I'm not sure if it is a stick scaling problem or pilot error (my money is on pilot error) but it seems like every move I make I am on the verge off stalling or blackout, and the guys I am fighting seem to whip around on my 6.
Do you have the stall-limiter turned off? If so, that's good. Better in the long-run to have it off. If you find you're stalling too much, then try not pulling on the stick too far. You want to pull as much as you can while just staying out of the buffeting (violent shaking). The stall buzzer will be buzzing away like mad, but don't go so far that you start buffeting. The buffet is an indication you're approaching the stall. Back off so you stay just off the buffet. Also if you push a bit hard and you drop the inside wing, its possible to 'catch' it early before it really lets go if you're quick to relax the stick slightly and give it a touch of opposite rudder. But time taken to correct the dipping wing is time taken from your turning effort, which will give you're opponent some free turning time and they'll win more angles. So its best to avoid that situation.
As for blacking out, its a similar situation, you want to pull as hard as you can, while avoiding a blackout. As your speed increases, the less pressure on the stick is required to produce a blackout. The slower you are the more you can pull back without blackout. This has to do with centrifugal forces. So slowing down is one way to avoid blackouts, the other is not to pull to hard for a given speed. Pull just enough to get a tunnel effect which you can still see out of enough to work out where things are etc, but don't pull any harder for more than a second or so, else you'll black out totally. Ride the tunnel
One last thing to point out - check your stick is not spiking. If it is, then this may also be the cause of unexpected black-outs, snapped wings, sudden stalls etc. You can do this in the control set up in AH. If it is spiking try bringing up the level of damping a little. You can also dial in some scaling, so the middle area of stick deflection is scaled back a bit, but be careful as too much can leave the outside area of stick deflection doing a disproportionate amount of input. Elevator is the critical one for the symptoms you are mentioning. I would use the default elevator scaling for now. Don't alter it too radically unless you really know what you're doing.
