I did my best for the translation, sorry if it is awkward
A lawyer dies and, of course, is sent right to Hell...
He's not too happy about his final destination and his frown shows it.
A small devil passes by and asks: 'Hey, buddy, why the long face?'
'Well I died a few minutes ago and I'm already in Hell! I haven't had even a single chance to defend my case!'
The devil answers: 'Woooo don't worry, buddy, it's not as bad here as they claim above. For instance, do you like to smoke?'
'I used to smoke cuban cigars when I was alive, yeah...'
'Nice choice! See, on monday, everybody smokes all kinds of stuff: cigarettes, cigars, pipe... Without having to worry about your health, you're already dead!'
'Ah yes', answers the lawyer, 'I hadn't thought about that....'
'And on tuesday' continues the devil, 'everyone drinks all kind of alcohol and get totally smashed! Do you like to drink?'
'Well I had developed a taste for bourbon and vodka...' says the man with a little smile
The devil goes on: 'Of course you did, those are so good! And as you're already dead, no hangover the next day and no risk of cirrhosis!'
'Well...' says the man, 'maybe Hell isn't so bad after all...'
'I told you it wasn't!' jubilates the short creature. 'Do you like to eat?'
The lawyer blushes a bit and answsers 'Probably too much for my health, yes. That must be the reason why my heart blew up so young!'
'You'll enjoy wednesdays, then! Mountains of fat tasty food for everybody! Nothing to worry about, you're dead! squeaks the devil. 'And thursday is drugs day: we have absolutely everything! And, as your dead...'
'...no OD!' finishes the man, now smiling from ear to ear. 'I definitely think that I'll enjoy it, here! What's for friday?'
'Ahah! Fridays! Are you gay?' asks the demon.
'Uh? Of course not' answers the man.
'OOOOOOooo methinks that you won't like fridays...'
