I think I can help here. What we are really talking about is perspective. What I mean by that is, everyone has a different idea of what is "reasonable". That concept of "reasonable" fluctuates wildly for a myriad of reasons, such as, personality, your plane, their plane, SA, familiarity, experience, skill, gunnery, etc. So, what seems perfectly reasonable to me may seem entirely preposterous to you. Then consider the fact that no two people ever have the same version of what happened retrospectively, there's always my version, your version and the truth. What I may consider you balking at a 1 vs 1 with me was really you seeing my 3 buddies I didn't even notice 4k out making a beeline in your general direction.
Everyone has different expectations from a sortie. One person's expectation may be to land 5 kills. Another person's expectation may be to get into a fight that gives him an exhilarating adrenalin surge. Regardless of your expectation, what you consider "reasonable" will be within that context. While it may be reasonable for Slapshot to dive into 7 Spit16's and see how many he can take out before he dies, that would not be reasonable to me. Conversely, I would have no problem egressing from a Co-Alt or higher Spit16 in my Typhoon until I had some E on him then come back and bounce him, that's very reasonable to me, but probably not to Slapshot.
Then there's the plane/player dynamic. What is reasonable for a 10 year veteran is not likely equally reasonable to a 2 weeker. By a similar token, what is reasonable in a Zeke may not be reasonable in a Jug.
So, assuming having fun is the goal for everyone, creating expectations, which is really just a short-term goal, combined with the player and the plane determines what is reasonable. There is no overarching, universally acceptable definition of what is reasonable. It is a very subjective concept. It doesn't increase the fun for you or anyone else to attempt to superimpose your concept of reasonable onto someone else. If you get to the point where everyone else seems to be playing "unreasonably" and that's making you unhappy, it's probably you that is being "unreasonable" in your expectations.
Slappy, I used you in my example because I knew you wouldn't mind for the purpose of illustration...