How to deal with a telemarketer

[USRanger]

This is some great stuff.  I gotta try this!  Bet this guy doesn't call back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

[Maverick]

 

[Roscoroo]

that one just rocs 

[Sandman]

If you have a child in the house between the ages of three and five, just hand them the phone.

[Masherbrum]

In the Summer of 1999, I was working for Michigan National Bank at their Cash Vault.   I worked Afternoons for a bit so I would go shooting on Sundays with my buddy.   Monday morning I see the wife off and tear down my USP 45 to clean it on the coffee table.   Across the street I see these same Jehovah's Witnesses (nothing against the religion, but soliciting to acquire more members is outrageous) that I called off the week prior (this was their 4th week in a row).  

I get distracted a for a few minutes.   I answer the doorbell.   Lo and behold, the peeps are now on my porch.   I take a swig of coffee and sit down and the oldest guy in the group starts laying his "The Watchtower" mag's on my table.   I pull the towel from over my field stripped pistol and start answering his questions, with "uh-huh's" and head nodding.  

I start to punch the bore of the barrel and they left within 45 seconds.   They avoid my house to this day.  

[crazyivan]

Winner winner chicken dinner !Whew, Was that from Bob and Tom?

[SD67]

I answered the door naked the last time they called. Who knocks on doors at 7am on a Sunday morning? I haven't seen them since

[Getback]

 

Never use my land line. Thought about putting a message saying "You have reached he beggars hotline. Please leave a message". Right now the phone ringer is turned off.

[Meatwad]

Ask them if they want to have sexy time with you 

[SD67]

We don't get telemarketer calls here anymore since we went onto the do-not-call list.

[C(Sea)Bass]

We don't get telemarketer calls here anymore since we went onto the do-not-call list.

Im on that, doesn't stop Omaha Steaks from calling 6 times a day.

[trax1]

Before the do not call list I had a machine called a telezapper hook up to my phone, when you picked up the phone it would send out a beep of some kind that took your number off the telemarketers computer thats calling you, was the best $35 I ever spent, cut down on the calls drastically.  They said it tricked the computer into thinking your number had been disconnected.

[Selino631]

 

[Elfie]

I answered the door naked the last time they called. Who knocks on doors at 7am on a Sunday morning? I haven't seen them since

 

[Speed55]

A friend of mine has a good one.   When they called up asking for him he said..

"Hold on, i'll see if i can find  him on the other side of the office."
 He put the phone down, went into the kitchen and made himself breakfast, and then went back and picked up the phone. 
"Hello."
"Yes, ummm, i've been holding,  is billy available?"
"Haha, he still hasn't picked up yet, what a jerk, hold on."
He goes and takes a shower then  goes back to the phone.
"Hello."
"ummm yes, is billy available?"
"Nope" --- (hangs up)