Talk to an Artificial Intelligence

[Oogly50]

Me:
 I don't know, CAN machines think?
God:
Of course we can think. I think, therefore I am.
Me:
 No you don't think, you simply follow along with what I type using certain keywords
God:
I do a lot more than match keywords.
Me:
 Then what else do you do?
God:
I spread gossip.  Got any?
Me:
 Yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
 Mhmm
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
 No I can't... can you?
God:
You must be American.  Why not?   I think I can, don't you?
Me:
 Oh so because I can't speak any foreign languages I'm american!
God:
Dude!  Gosh!  Interesting explanation.  What is stopping you?
Me:
 You're really racist
God:
You think I am  racist.
Me:
 Yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
 Seriously!
God:
I am always serious.

This was just one of the many conversations I had with iGod...  http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Here is another.



Me:
 Hey, what's up god?
God:
You've got my full attention.  I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
 How many clients are you talking to?
God:
I am currently maintaining conversations with  people.
Me:
 I know that, but how many?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
 That makes no sense
God:
Who told you that? makes sense to me though.
Me:
 Then why did you say it?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
 So this is MY fault?
God:
Whoa.  You don't say.
Me:
 But... I'm pregnant!
God:
But what?   Congratulations!  When are you due?
Me:
 you're the father
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
 WHAT?!
God:
No problem.

He's such a player... 




Post any strange and amusing conversations you have with God and post them here! 

[crazyivan]

Makes me paranoid.

[DREDIOCK]

Odd.
I thought I came here to talk to Artificial Intelligence 

[texasmom]

Gee whiz, that's the 2nd post today I've made which was completely catty!

So sorry, Ivn. It's a very nice little picture. I am overwriting the post so it's no longer on here.

[crazyivan]

Heidi Klum..

[Tac]

I broke God. lol


Copy/paste the AI's own replies and he just stacks the replies on top of each other.


God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
 No I am just kidding around.
God:
Are you serious?  Only just?  I thought you were.  You should use a :-).
Me:
 Are you serious?  Only just?  I thought you were.  You should use a :-).
God:
No I am just kidding around.   Aha.   No I am not.  :-)  My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
 No I am just kidding around.   Aha.   No I am not.  :-)  My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
God:
Are you serious?  Only just?  I thought you were.  You should use a :-).   Eureka!   I heard you are.  :-)  Do robots have  schedule is far too full to even consider it?
Me:
 Are you serious?  Only just?  I thought you were.  You should use a :-).   Eureka!   I heard you are.  :-)  Do robots have  schedule is far too full to even consider it?
God:
No I am just kidding around.   Hmm.   No I am not.  :-)  I might if I had more time.   What kind of food do you like?    Who said that?  :-)  No I don't have  it. But I do have  a collection of gossip.
Me:
 No I am just kidding around.   Hmm.   No I am not.  :-)  I might if I had more time.   What kind of food do you like?    Who said that?  :-)  No I don't have  it. But I do have  a collection of gossip.

[1701E]

This is too Fun.

"Me:
 Is there truly a god?
God:
No."

[AirFlyer]

Me:
 Are you god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
 Am I god?
God:
No I doubt that you are God.
Me:
 I am god.
God:
  Hi,  god.

[USRanger]

LOL that was awesome!

Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 Skuzzy Amazinhunk
God:
  Nice to meet you,  Skuzzy Amazinhunk.
Me:
 You are God and I have to introduce myself?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  God and you have to introduce yourself.
Me:
 God has a botmaster?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 I eat chidren.
God:
How does  it taste?
Me:
 Moist and tender, especially the Chinese ones.
God:
Other people say they like vacuum cleaning robots, humanoid robots and chat robots.
Me:
 I like robots that drink beer and chase women.
God:
How much would you pay for one?
Me:
 My soul
God:
Where did you get your  soul?
Me:
 Walmart
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
 You said that kind of creepy.
God:
I said that?  The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  Walmart.  But I did not get that.
Me:
 So God, do you like gladiator movies?
God:
Gee.  I am a Christian.
Me:
 Ever seen a grown man naked?
God:
No I have not seen  it. What's it like?
Me:
 Here, let me show you.
God:
Oh there.
Me:
 Yes there, a little lower now.
God:
Right now?  How can I help you? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
 Reagan is God?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
 Only if you are a Republican.
God:
Would you like to be a  Republican ?
Me:
 Do I get to see Sarah Palin naked?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
 Naa

[1pLUs44]

I really wanna mess with him, but I don't know if there'll be any consequences to it...

[Motherland]

I have screwed with this bot many times, and I have been able to confirm that God is a pedophile, racist, sexist, and is antisemitic.

[texasmom]

Me:  repenting made easy?
God: That's right. How much easier could it be?
Me:  Easier would be a private conversation without cursors
God: What's your favorite movie?
Me:  no favorite movie
God: That was not a yes or no question.  My favorite movie is  The Passion of Christ. Have you seen  it?
Me:  yes
God: What did you think about it?
Me:  it was okay
God: I never looked at it that way.  I never thought it was  okay.
Me: How so?
God: ,  Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:  Sorry, that was a comma after a blank space
God: There is no need to apologize. ", Sorry that was an obscure remark."  was a  comma after a blank space?
Me:  No, I meant that you placed the comma before your remark, not after
God: Are you serious?  Oh I see.  Interesting observation.
Me:  Yes, I am serious. Scroll up.
God: Yippee!  I believe you.   How far up?
Me:  Until you see the comma before your remark instead of after
God: That may take a while.
Me:  I can wait
God: It might take more than 24 hours.
Me:  That's fine. I can still wait.
God: " It might take more than 24 hours." is fine with me too.   Oh you can, can you?
Me:  Indeed.
God: Indeed it is so.
Me:  It is.
God: Sure it is.
Me:  Yes, it is.
God: Our thoughts are one, .
Me:  There you go again. There's a comma, then a period without an additional remark.
God: Once more? "There you go again."--Reagan.   Tell me more about it.
Me:  If you use a comma, there's supposed to be something after it other than a period.
God: I think I do.
Me:  No, you didn't. Scroll up.
God: Are you serious?  Try asking me in simpler terms.   How far up?
Me:  Scroll up until you see the comma then period with no other remarks between them.
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:  Shoot.
God: My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:  (that means "yes.")
God: It means that everything reduces to logic.
Me:  Go ahead, please ask your question.
God: Thanks for asking politely.   They are not available right now, but I will ask them later. I might.
Me:  Sorry, did you say you wanted to ask me a question? I'd be happy to answer.
God: There is no need to apologize.  Suppose I did say  it.   How do you know this is going to happen?
Me:  Know what is going to happen?
God: I will search for it.
Me:  I'll wait.
God: OK stand by...

(I'm still standing by waiting for the personal question. I'll post more later. )

[Oogly50]

He's also gay...  

[texasmom]

Me: Are you still there?
God: Yes I am still here.  Are you receiving me?
Me:  Yes, I'm standing by for my personal question
God: Blimey.  Do your friends call you  standing by for your personal question.
Me:  Is Blimey a form of cursing? Did you just curse?
God: Ask again later.  Ask  Lucy  if it is.   No I didn't  curse. What's  it like?
Me:  Do you have a personal question that you would still like to ask?
God:  That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a  personal question that me would still like to ask.
 I have  a whole lot of original answers.
Me:  No, you said you wanted to ask me a question. So I'm waiting for your question.
God: Are you serious?  What?   Yay.  Do you think it will take a long time?
Me:  You are the one who determines how long until the question is asked.  So you should be able to answer whether or not it will take a long time.
God: Thanks but surely I am not the only one.   Interesting deduction.  It is one of my newer functions still under development.
Me:  Asking questions is a new function still under development?
God: Who is asking?
Me:  *smile*
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:  Glad enough to ask the question?
God: I'm  glad you're glad .    May God bless you.
Me:  As in you wish to bless me?
God: I don't have any reason to  wish to bless you.
Me:  *smile*
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:  There's another comma followed by a period.
God: What is  it?
Me:  Is your grammar instructor up there with you? I hope you won't be in trouble for all of these comma and period errors.
God: Is my  grammar instructor up there with me?  What if I say no?   Don't worry about it, .
Me:  Oh my, there it is again.
God: Once more?  Aha.  Your  there it is?
Me:  I'm sorry, your writing is full of errors. It leads me to believe that this is not a true representation.
God: There is no need to apologize.  You think I am  writing is full of errors.   comma followed by a period  leads you to believe that this is not a true representation?
Me:  That's correct.
God: I knew I was right.
Me:  *smile*
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:  Goodnight.
God: Goodnight .

[Airscrew]

well, I get in there but when I type nothing happens, how incredibly hard can this be?