The christmas connundrum

[rabbidrabbit]

Yes, what to get for the wife.

I hate buying gifts for her since its always expected and never appreciated.

The rules:

It can't be cheap.
It can't be something useful.
It can't be something usable by me.
She won't give me any ideas and is offended that I might consider asking.

I was looking at a HD camcorder but she booted up my LT and found the open tabs.  She wanted nothing to do with that.

Basically, I'm stuck on jewelry even though its a complete waste of money.


Any ideas?  My fallback is a lump of coal but it will cost me dearly.

[Maverick]

You can always buy her a power boat and a big bottle of booze to go with it.

Other than that jewelry and a day or two at a nice spa where she can be pampered might go well.

[Tac]

The rules:

It can't be cheap.
It can't be something useful.
It can't be something usable by me.
She won't give me any ideas and is offended that I might consider asking.

Well, in Femspeak that means jewelry ... so you're absolutely buttered there. Not knowing what your wife may like.. below are some alternatives.


1) How about an exotic vacation? A cruise? Maybe tell her in xmas but the trip can take place in 09. A weekend retreat to Niagara falls or vegas or a cruise.. up to her.
2) Spa treatment. Never understood this but women seem to love to pay dearly for someone to fondle them, splat mud on their face, pin cucumber parts on their eyelids, steam cook them and all that stuff. I mean, I could do that for free . Anyways, I think they just like to make us pay for it. Evil XX gene carriers I tell you.  
3) Rent a flashy expensive convertible or bike and go out for a whole days drive.. have a romantic picnic somewhere?
4) Hire a male stripper and pop him out of a huge gift box under the tree. If she likes it YOU can be the one in the box next year.. if she doesn't then I bet you she will not nag you about the present ever again. She'll tell you what she wants or risk another cake-man. Win win situation my friend.  

[CAVPFCDD]

I'll sell you Menudo, I've had them locked in my basement since the 80's

[texasmom]

http://www.starregistry.com/
Name a star after her. It's only about $50 for the least expensive package, but is something extremely special and thoughtful.

*edit* p.s. as far as the "cheap" goes on this one, you can upgrade to the expensive gift set, which comes with engraved stuff, framed certificate (instead of unframed), etc.

[bj229r]

You're OBviously an uncaring, insensitive dolt, and as such, whatever you do will be wrong. (What my wife does is drop VERY slight, casual hints about such things when we are out and about...to pass the afore-mentioned 'uncaring, insensitive dolt' test, I must remember all said hints and produce the correct things on Christmas morning )

[SPKmes]

Get a voucher for a spa, obviously don't call it a beauty spa cause she's already beautiful and that would just cause issues of another kind. You can find these places which have a huge range of girly things and it gives a day maybe two of pampering for her and only her. Just be sure you look online at the pricing and get the amount that will cover most things (Large money) or you will be in trouble for her in ability to experience what the spa has to offer. Bear in mind girls like to do this in packs so allowances will need to made for this in your thoughtful purchasing process.

[Lusche]

http://www.starregistry.com/
Name a star after her. It's only about $50 for the least expensive package, but is something extremely special and thoughtful.

Pleeeeeeeaaaaase don't!

It's not thoughtful at all as it's essentially nothing but a scam.

This company  has the same "right" of naming stars as you and me: none.
They are just seeling some overpriced, fancy but effectively worthless certificate. I could sell you the same...

[Curlew]

Pleeeeeeeaaaaase don't!

It's not thoughtful at all as it's essentially nothing but a scam.

This company  has the same "right" of naming stars as you and me: none.
They are just seeling some overpriced, fancy but effectively worthless certificate. I could sell you the same...

Agreed

[E25280]

I could sell you the same...

Check is in the mail.  Please be sure it is here by Christmas!

Thanks.

[Lusche]

Check is in the mail.  Please be sure it is here by Christmas!

Thanks.

Sorry, stars are out of stock.

But how about a nice doctor's degree (University of Fakesburg)... or a pretty bridge? 

[texasmom]

Observe above. Those are the kind of "functional" answers that wives really don't give a crap about.  Who cares if they have no rights to the stars!  We ain't talking about functionality, practicality, or reality ~ we're talking about a gift for her.

The point would be that a man she loves went through the trouble of having one named after her ~ who gives a crap if it keeps it's regular 'ole name and is never, ever, ever, ever known by any other name other than the one it was originally given ~ that is totally and completely besides the point.

And if you're just as able to make it happen, then put it into place, and I'll start buying from you instead of them. I buy about one a year. 

[Baitman]

Going to buy mine Gold and Silver coins.
 

[RATTFINK]

Get a basket with smelly soaps and a gift card to a spa.

[uptown]

I got mine a king size pillow top bed. We stayed at a resort in Lake of the Ozarks a few years ago that had one of these beds. She's been after me ever since to get one for us. Get her one of these beds.You won't regret it.