Bad Day

[dkff49]

This came in an email from a friend of mine and gave me a good laugh. I think you'll enjoy too.

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!

 This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
 bad day at work .... Think of this guy, Rob a commercial saturation
 diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
 Offshore drilling rigs.
 
 Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
 station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was Sponsoring a
 worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
 
 
       Hi, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
 week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
 lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
 you realize it's not so bad after all.
 
 Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
 few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
 of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
 year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
 this: We have a diesel
 powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks
 the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
 then pumps it down
 to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.  Now
 this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
 no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom  and start working,
 is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods
 my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
 
       Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started
 to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
 Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from
 my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
 The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
 suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jelly couldn't
 stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
 
 When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
 the jellyfish into the crack of my butt ...I informed the dive
 supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
 unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all
 laughing hysterically!!!! Needless to say I aborted the dive.
 
 I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
 totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
 my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
 wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
 
 As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
 down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
 butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,but I
 couldn't poop for two days because my bu tt was swollen
 shut.
 
 So, next time you're having a bad day at work...think about how much
 worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your
 butt. Now repeat THIS to yourself, "I LOVE my job, I LOVE my job, I
 LOVE my job."
 
 Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, "Is this a jellyfish bad
 day?"

Now I have had some pretty bad days. My line of work breeds them, but I don't think I have ever had a bad day that compares to that.

[Treize69]

I can't say I've had any that were jellyfish bad, no.

[MORAY37]

I can attest to jellyfish(actually Man of War) ruining an otherwise enjoyable workday for me, courtesy of diving with loose fitting trunks. There are worse things than a kick to the groin.  Trust me.

[Getback]

Don't think I have a single incident but I guess my former woman boss was like a Jelly fish in my butt.

[MoeRon]

what about the poor jellyfish....sucked into a garden hose and into a mans buttcrack to die....

[Flatbar]

Funny read but most likely, in my mind, untrue. Deep divers wear dry suits most often. That would be much more inexpensive than some diesel powered hot water machine.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/diver.asp

I grew up surfing and bodysurfing in So.Cal. My mum used a crushed up cigarette to take the sting out of more than a few jellyfish stings.

[dkff49]

Funny read but most likely, in my mind, untrue. Deep divers wear dry suits most often. That would be much more inexpensive than some diesel powered hot water machine.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/diver.asp

I grew up surfing and bodysurfing in So.Cal. My mum used a crushed up cigarette to take the sting out of more than a few jellyfish stings.

thanks for your input but I really did not post it for it's accuracy but more for it's humorous valule. I really did not expect it to have been true anyway, but the pictures running through my mind at the time Iread it made it hillarious. That could also have been the hour that I read it combined with the level of exhaustion I was experiencing.

[Hornet33]

That story would sum up last week for me. It was a jellyfish week.

Woke up Tuesday morning and was getting ready for work. Was getting dressed and when I stood up had a sharp pain shoot across my chest. Sat down for a minute and when I got back up it started again, radiating down the backs of both arms. UH OH   Grab a fist full of asprin, chew em up, and call the paramedics. Get to the hospital and they confirm, having a heart attack. 2 hours and a cardio cath later, I'm in the ICU, left leg in a brace so I can't move it due to the hole they just put in my femeral artery. Miss my company Christmas party Wed night since I'm stuck in the hospital. Get out Thursday afternoon, get home, take a shower to get the hospital funk off me, and when I get out there is a voice mail from my ex wanting me to call her.

Round two. My ex has lost her mind since we split 3 years ago. She had 5 dogs and 6 cats in the house, wasn't keeping the place clean and when my son went to school on Monday last week his coat reeked of cat piss. The school started asking questions of him and my daughter, social services got involved, and they took my kids out of the house. 4 days later she decides to tell me what's going on. Now I know why she never wanted to me come over to pick up the kids or drop them off. So that was what I got to deal with less than hour after getting out of the hospital from having a heart attack, and all of that a week before Christmas when I STILL don't have all my shopping done, now I'm trying to make sure my kids don't end up in foster care.

Social services paid me a visit Saturday because I had the kids with me all weekend to make sure my place is clean (it is spotless and I keep it that way) but they told me if I want to take the kids full time I have to move into a larger apartment. I'm in a 1 bedroom place because it's all I can afford after paying child support.

Yeah big jellyfish

[eagl]

Hornet,

You need to find a judge who will halt your child care payments.  Make HER pay YOU.  Bring all your documentation and your sad but hopeful face.

[nirvana]

Glad you're alright, Jason.  Hope everything works out for you and your children as well.

[Babalonian]

Seriously Hornet, take it to a judge, that's black and white to any judge that values the environment the children are raised in.   

[dkff49]

WOW hornet I would say that is a jellyfish week. Glad to know that you are feeling better medically and I hope that everything works out well for you with your custody issues.

I did foster care before and I can tell you that in most states the object is to have the kids living with one of the parents before foster care and even afterwards they will make every effort to get them back to one of the parents.



Again good luck and remember to keep an eye on your health too and let thing get you too frustrated (I know it is difficult when you are dealing with issues involving your kids). Just remember though your no good to no one if your ticker stops.

[Hornet33]

Yeah I was talking to my lawyer today about all of this. He made some calls for me to social services and from now on they are sending copies of everything regarding her case straight to his office as well as to my apartment. They gave her 2 weeks to get all the animals out except our two original dogs and to get the house and yard cleaned up. I went by after work today to check on her progress and she's had a bunch of her friends over there helping her out and has made good progress. I think she'll have it all squared away when they come back to reinspect the house. She got rid of the last of the animals today.

I also let her know everything my lawyer told me and what he did on my behalf. He working to get a court order that will allow me un restricted access to the house even though I'm no longer on the mortgage. Since this has happened he thinks the judge will allow it so I can have some messure of control over what's going on there since my kids are living there. Social services told him they would endorse the motion. She's not only going to have social service looking over her shoulder for a long time to come but me as well.

She's not happy about it, but at this point I really don't care. I flat out told her that this is the price she will pay for creating this disaster in the first place. Pretty much if I go over and find something screwed up, I'll be able to pack the kids things, make a phone call, and remove them immediately, and she'll get to deal with the aftermath.

Man never in a million years would I have thought I would be in a position like this. Thank God for my blood pressure meds. Without them I probably would have stroked out the other day.

[CAP1]

closest i had to that was the day that i went to work in a bad mood. installing a leafspring in an f250, it disassembled itself, knocking me out through the bay door, into the parking lot. little while later, my hand got caught in a car door. no big deal? the door was locked. by the time the other mechanic got it opened, i couldn't feel my fingers. got it out, and another mechanic starts givin me crap.

i hauled off. it was him or my tool box. i then proceeded to take myself to the hospital, to get my broken hand tended to. 3 screws in my wrist now.  oo yea.......it was my left hand i broke, and i am left handed.

still not as bad as havin a jellyfish in my buttcrack though. 

[Twister2]

Hornet good job calling the medics right away and downing the aspirin. Most guys try and denie it's happening and destroy their heart or die. Hope things improve for you.