Let's perk Rich46yo!  Perk it!   
C'mon now. You guys know you cant perk a person or a persons name. GeezLoueez.
GollyGeeWhiz the thread was made tounge in cheek trying to lighten up all the sniveling going on in here. 

 <no salute to ack-crack>. "Ack-crak, everyone has 1".