Author Topic: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:  (Read 653 times)

Offline gpwurzel

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Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« on: March 19, 2009, 08:11:48 AM »
Tit Monday  

Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now you know, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months.

You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy.

For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.

After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.

Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...

And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. In 2005 it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.

And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.

So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.
As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make...


Gotta love Spring,

 :D

Wurzel (shamelessly stolen from another source)
I'm the worst pilot ingame ya know!!!

It's all unrealistic crap requested by people who want pie in the sky actions performed without an understanding of how things work and who can't grasp reality.


Offline Marauding Conan

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2009, 11:09:24 AM »
Pure quality. Only a Brit could come up with that.  :aok

Offline Bruv119

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2009, 11:17:44 AM »
You noticed that too ehh wurz lol,

from my window seat at work i also too notice such a small thing.   We better change our nicks to pervert 2 and 3  :lol
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Offline Marauding Conan

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2009, 11:58:28 AM »
You noticed that too ehh wurz lol,

from my window seat at work i also too notice such a small thing.   We better change our nicks to pervert 2 and 3  :lol

Don't sell yourself short. All it means is that you have warm blood running through your veins. I wish I had that view from this office... all I can see from here is industrial states and trees... and the chicks are not much to look at around here.

Offline BaDkaRmA158Th

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2009, 03:17:09 PM »
LMFAO!


POET!



 :aok
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Offline trigger2

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2009, 02:09:31 AM »
I give it about 2 weeks.  :aok

(:
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only
need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the
WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
*TAs Aerofighters Inc.*

Offline bozon

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2009, 03:49:25 AM »
how poetic :)
Mosquito VI - twice the spitfire, four times the ENY.

Click!>> "So, you want to fly the wooden wonder" - <<click!
the almost incomplete and not entirely inaccurate guide to the AH Mosquito.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGOWswdzGQs

Offline Bruv119

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2009, 04:52:07 AM »
Don't sell yourself short. All it means is that you have warm blood running through your veins. I wish I had that view from this office... all I can see from here is industrial states and trees... and the chicks are not much to look at around here.

good point,  eyeing up some totty is a mans human right,  screw the discrimination policies and sexism,  feminism too for that matter,

I'll make sure I holla out of the window and  shout "  git yer tits out luv".
The Few ***
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Offline Phaser11

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2009, 06:55:04 AM »
I do not know if this is proper, but here it is called WOW.





Wip'em Out Wednesday



Phaser11,

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"Silence! I kill you"

Offline Marauding Conan

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2009, 07:53:52 AM »
good point,  eyeing up some totty is a mans human right,  screw the discrimination policies and sexism,  feminism too for that matter,

I'll make sure I holla out of the window and  shout "  git yer tits out luv".

 :lol like I say, only a brit  :lol You forgot the oi!

Offline Nilsen

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2009, 09:29:48 AM »
 :aok wurzel

Offline ROX

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Re: Brace Yourself - Its almost Time for:
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2009, 01:44:29 PM »
   :aok    :aok    :aok



FIVE STARS Mr Wurzel!



ROX