what's the best ticket you've ever received?

[Banshee7]

The cops around my town are pretty laid back.  They can all be found at a local gas station/convenient store at the exact SAME time...so I never worry about them.

Speed limit is 30mph on all of the streets in town...ok.  So here I am driving to work doing about 45, as I was running late.  Look in my rear view and there's a city police car behind me.  I sit there thinking "Crap...what a day to get my first ticket."  so I slow down to about 35mph and act normal, waiting for him to turn his lights on.  Few seconds later I see him drive on by me in a no passing lane.  He then speeds away..still no lights.  I finally lose sight of him, but about 10 minutes later I pass the same squad car at a different convenient store.  I guess he was just really, really hungry.

[cpxxx]

I only got one ticket ever, for parking a motorcycle in a place where everyone parked their bikes. I think they must have issued several hundred parking tickets to bikers that day. There were plenty of times, I should have got a ticket. Like the time I was heading home on my motorcycle through the back streets of Dublin when I saw a bike cop coming towards me. I knew he would stop me and I wasn't in the mood, so I tried to lose him before he got turned around. I did but he got lucky and finally spotted me. He was good and mad and knew I tried to lose him. I denied it politely. So he searched me and checked out the bike for defects. Eventually he told me was going to charge me with dangerous driving, breaking a red light etc. It was all BS. But if he had been more thorough he could have got me for my tax being out of date. I never heard anymore. He was bluffing.

Mention of the tinted windows incident reminded me of my friend who drove a black BMW with tinted windows. I called it a pimp-mobile. One day he was driving home and needed to change lanes to exit. He found a gap in the traffic. Unfortunately it was the middle of a joint police/army escort of a huge cash shipment. The army guards big cash deliveries in this country. They saw a sinister black BMW with tinted windows join their convoy so suddenly he was stopped and surrounded by troops carrying Steyr AUG assault rifles. He didn't make that mistake again. 

[Swoop]

Most silly ticket I ever got was a parking fine for parking my motorbike next to another motorbike, next to a bicycle park on a pavement in a busy town centre which was 100ft wide.  The bike next to me didn't get a ticket, I did for "blocking the pavement".  A 100ft wide pavement.  Uh-huh.


However, the best one I ever didn't get a ticket for was.......years ago I had my first proper motorcycle (well, ish), a Suzuki RGV250.  I had it about a week and was using an excuse to go see a mate of mine in Portsmouth, I was on the M27 (freeway) heading for Southampton and traffic had cleared to the point of being non existant......so......as you do, new vehicle, fast vehicle, you wanna see what she'll do, right?

So I opened this bike up, held 130mph for about 5 miles.....brilliant......and my exit is coming up so I throttled back and took the slip road off the motorway (freeway) at legal speeds again.  At the end of the sliproad is a police car waiting for me, fella gets out of the car and waves me in......


Copper: "Good evening sir.  We have received a report of a motorcycle travelling at excessive speeds on the M27."

Me with poker face: "Well I haven't seen him."


The fella looked blankly at me for a moment then actually laughed, told me to keep it down a bit and let me go on my way.

[Denholm]

Most silly ticket I ever got was a parking fine for parking my motorbike next to another motorbike, next to a bicycle park on a pavement in a busy town centre which was 100ft wide.  The bike next to me didn't get a ticket, I did for "blocking the pavement".  A 100ft wide pavement.  Uh-huh...

You didn't get your explanation? Well, someone was pissed that you didn't post the Wednesday babe on time.

[68Wooley]

No, it would have been heroin that she was most likely thinking of.

Actually in mid-nineties London at four am she most likely would have thought we were all out our faces on disco biscuits or Columbian marching powder. We weren't - remember kids - just say no.

[DJ111]

No tickets...


Because I don't break the law, you heathens...


 

[MrRiplEy[H]]

Tax returns.. best ticket I get from the government.

[james]

Body parts out the window on the belt parkway in brooklyn new york, 65 dollar fine. I was on the way TO the bar not FROM the bar. Difficult to explain really

[allaire]

Disco biscuits?   Got popped by a SP on the air base for doing 35 in a 25 on a bicycle.  Funniest thing I have heard from a cop

Cop: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Me looking for a speedo on the handlebars: "Um, not really."

[cpxxx]

I was stopped on my motorcycle for speeding, the cop asked how fast I though I was going. Truthfully I told him I didn't know. What I didn't tell him was the the speedo cable broke a long time ago and I couldn't know. Well you were doing 90 said the Garda. 'No way', said I, now realising he hadn't a clue either because it was only about 70 if that. He left telling me he as going to prosecute but he never did. In truth I was only stopped to check whether the bike was stolen or I was wanted or a drug dealer or something. I was driving through a rough area at the time, hence the speed. That was quite common for me. Stopped for speeding but in reality the cops were only really interested in whether the bike was stolen or I was up to something. On one occasion the post office was robbed a short time previously and frankly the way I rode a bike, I always looked like I was getting away! But I never got a ticket, even though I deserved one.

In my previous post I mentioned my one and only parking ticket. I remembered why now. It was an anti terrorist drive. At one stage everyone parked their bikes on the central pavement part of O'Connell street in Dublin. But one day a loyalist terrorist, that is a pro British terrorist down from Northern Ireland planted a teeny tiny bomb on a motorcycle to try and terrorise us. Well the powers that be decided scare off the terrorists by ticketing everyone on the street. I guess it worked. They never came back! That really qualifies as a silly ticket.   

[oakranger]

On I-70 west bound about 50 east of Hays, Kans, going about 72 mph on 70 mph speed limit.  As driving with the flow of traffic (some going faster than me) and state trooper was on the east bound and did a U-turn on the median onto the west bound. He was about ½ miles ahead of me the time he did that.  I was on the inside land so I slow down and switch lands and pass him going about 60 mph.  About a 1 min later his lights turn on and the next thing I notice he is after me.  Wonder what the hell I did. 
He told me that he clocked me going 80 mph.  I ask at what time did he clocked me going that fast because I was on cursed control going 71-72 mph.  Pissed that I question him about where he clocked me he said, “I clocked you going 80 when you where behind me!” and “..that my cruise control was mound function and speedometer was not reading right!”  Then a asked him if he has a radar that can read any mechanical problems on cars?  Yea, that one almost got me in jail.

[AWwrgwy]

It's February, about 20^o, 11 at night and I'm going home from the movies on a motorcycle with almost no gas.  I'm speeding a bit, trying to stay out of the wind and hope I get to the gas station before I run dry and I come up behind a local cop car.  I slow down, they slow down.  I slow down more, they slow down more.  They finally pull to the side and I pass and get pulled over. 

I get licence checked and what not and a local sheriff's car shows up.  Deputy gets out and starts telling me how I'm going to jail and they have me now and puts me in the back of his nice warm car, losing his hat in the process.  Closed the door on my foot while I was trying to get it inside past the cage.  Keeps telling me how much trouble I'm in and how I'm going to jail. 

I'm listening to his radio and there is lots of chatter going on.  Other assorted police cars start coming by.  Local, 2 different counties, State Troopers.  "No, not him." 

Turns out they had been chasing someone on a bike all over the back roads in the hills for hours and thought they got him when they pulled me over.  15 or 20 cars drove by to check me out.  Different bike and a different helmet.  I got warmed up, let go, and made it to the gas station.


Second.  Comming home from a show after 2am I come over a rise.  Speed trap.  I'm doing about 78 in a 65 and pull over.  "I detect the smell of alcohol."

My response, "I'm covered in it."

They like to throw beer at the end of the show.  I'm pretty much soaked.  Get out and do the field sobriety test.  "Follow the pen."

No problems and he lets me go without even a warning. 

I get out of lots of tickets.  Always roll down all the windows so they can see you.  Be polite and offer any more information than they want.  Don't be an avocado.

Tickets I did get is a different story.


wrongway

[Sikboy]

In 20 years I've gotten 6 speeding tickets, all well deserved.

Now, don't get me started on the Toll violations that I have here in Dallas lol.

-Sik

[Rash]

Got pulled over for doing 26 in a 25.