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Author Topic: Designated Decoy  (Read 5630 times)

Offline Serenity

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Designated Decoy
« on: July 25, 2009, 05:51:36 AM »
Found this on the internet:

Quote
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub.  Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into.  He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.  Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.  He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationery for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road.  The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test.  To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.  This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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Offline OOZ662

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2009, 07:36:38 AM »
Hah, I remember that from a few years ago.
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Offline DJ111

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2009, 09:49:10 AM »
Ha, drunk driving is funnay.

 :aok
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Offline TonyJoey

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2009, 10:15:51 AM »
Quote from: DJ111 on July 25, 2009, 09:49:10 AM
Ha, drunk driving is funnay.

 :aok

Yes, and so is killing thousands of people from drunk driving accidents. Hilarious. :rolleyes:
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Offline trigger2

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2009, 10:23:50 AM »
Quote from: TonyJoey on July 25, 2009, 10:15:51 AM
Yes, and so is killing thousands of people from drunk driving accidents. Hilarious. :rolleyes:

I think he's referring to "designated decoy driving."
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Offline Shuffler

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2009, 10:27:20 AM »
The joke while funny..... in real life the results are not. I have a cousin that was almost completely decapitated by a drunk driver crossing into his lane. He died almost instantly. The other 5 in his car will never be the same either. The drunk was in a van alone and survived,

We buried him on the day that was supposed to be his wedding day.
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Offline Sandman

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2009, 11:23:24 AM »
Quote from: Shuffler on July 25, 2009, 10:27:20 AM
The joke while funny..... in real life the results are not. I have a cousin that was almost completely decapitated by a drunk driver crossing into his lane. He died almost instantly. The other 5 in his car will never be the same either. The drunk was in a van alone and survived,

We buried him on the day that was supposed to be his wedding day.

I too lost a cousin to a drunk driver. Not funny.
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Offline DJ111

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2009, 11:42:56 AM »
I've seen the results of a drunk driver too many times, and I've lost a very close friend to drunk driving.


Quote from: TonyJoey on July 25, 2009, 10:15:51 AM
Yes, and so is killing thousands of people from drunk driving accidents. Hilarious. :rolleyes:

In case it wasn't too obvious : I was being sarcastic.
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Offline OOZ662

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2009, 01:14:45 PM »
I'm interested in the fact that I'm sure everyone here would laugh themselves silly if a stand-up comedian told this, as Billy Connolly has built his career on such things. However, once one person says something about how wrong and vile it is, everybody hops on.

I'd give 9/10 odds that it never actually happened and was something somebody dreamed up to be funny.
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Offline Serenity

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2009, 01:17:30 PM »
Quote from: OOZ662 on July 25, 2009, 01:14:45 PM
I'm interested in the fact that I'm sure everyone here would laugh themselves silly if a stand-up comedian told this, as Billy Connolly has built his career on such things. However, once one person says something about how wrong and vile it is, everybody hops on.

I'd give 9/10 odds that it never actually happened and was something somebody dreamed up to be funny.

Ya know, I was thinking a similar thing... A post I made about the gratuitous use of words like rape... to which I was told to SITFU. But christ, make a joke that illudes to drunk driving and the hypocrites pour out of the walls. Yes, you're all hypocrites. Trust me, we ALL know someone hurt by drunk driving. I've been hit by a drunk driver myself. But that's not what this is about. It's about making yourself seem like a good person by getting your knickers in a twist over this in public while you secretly laugh in your computer chair.
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Offline Guppy35

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2009, 01:24:10 PM »
Quote from: Serenity on July 25, 2009, 01:17:30 PM
Ya know, I was thinking a similar thing... A post I made about the gratuitous use of words like rape... to which I was told to SITFU. But christ, make a joke that illudes to drunk driving and the hypocrites pour out of the walls. Yes, you're all hypocrites. Trust me, we ALL know someone hurt by drunk driving. I've been hit by a drunk driver myself. But that's not what this is about. It's about making yourself seem like a good person by getting your knickers in a twist over this in public while you secretly laugh in your computer chair.

Nah, it's about recognizing what's funny and whats not.
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Offline DJ111

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2009, 04:06:04 PM »
Quote from: Serenity on July 25, 2009, 01:17:30 PM
Ya know, I was thinking a similar thing... A post I made about the gratuitous use of words like rape... to which I was told to SITFU. But christ, make a joke that illudes to drunk driving and the hypocrites pour out of the walls. Yes, you're all hypocrites. Trust me, we ALL know someone hurt by drunk driving. I've been hit by a drunk driver myself. But that's not what this is about. It's about making yourself seem like a good person by getting your knickers in a twist over this in public while you secretly laugh in your computer chair.

Like Guppy said, it's a stupid joke and I'm pretty sure I didn't laugh...

Lemmie check again to make sure...  Nope not laughing.

Hypocrite?

Bite me.
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Offline eagl

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2009, 04:12:29 PM »
Yea, that joke would have been more funny 20 or more years ago when drunk driving was just something people did and nobody held them accountable for the results.  Now it's mostly just funny to retards with no sense of responsibility for their actions.

I read the punchline as "I'm just the guy who enabled all those drunks go kill people tonight", and I don't even know anyone who was killed by a drunk driver. 
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Offline Nemisis

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2009, 06:55:28 PM »
Quote from: DJ111 on July 25, 2009, 04:06:04 PM
Like Guppy said, it's a stupid joke and I'm pretty sure I didn't laugh...

Lemmie check again to make sure...  Nope not laughing.

Hypocrite?

Bite me.

I'm inclined to agree with serenity. I would bet money that you at least chuckled. Everyone likes to feel like they have done the right thing at least some of the time and everyone likes to feel superior to someone else all the time.

Oh and spell check says hipocrite is spelled correctly if that is what you mean.

And why the hostility? or if you were literal then I pray for you that serenity has no teeth.
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Offline TonyJoey

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Re: Designated Decoy
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2009, 10:47:23 PM »
Quote from: eagl on July 25, 2009, 04:12:29 PM
Yea, that joke would have been more funny 20 or more years ago when drunk driving was just something people did and nobody held them accountable for the results.  Now it's mostly just funny to retards with no sense of responsibility for their actions.

I read the punchline as "I'm just the guy who enabled all those drunks go kill people tonight", and I don't even know anyone who was killed by a drunk driver. 

+1
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