Help with a Depression Victim.

[oakranger]

So, let's say I call the police and report a suicide threat. Will they get her help from there? That is all I want for her...

No That will cause problems.  call a therapist tomorrow and ask for there help on what you can do. 

[Spikes]

Spikes read his first post very carefully...it's not a physiological disorder... 

Well it could be a form of it, I read it but that was the only thing I can think of, maybe not so much.

Oogly I'd call a threapist tomorrow and don't mention names, just explain what the problem is, if they ask who, tell them you'd rather not say the name or something.

[Oogly50]

Would the therapist tell me exactly what to do and say to get her out of depression?
Didn't think so...

You can't do that without a long time of therapy, and she won't accept that. 

[oakranger]

Well it could be a form of it, I read it but that was the only thing I can think of, maybe not so much.

Oogly I'd call a threapist tomorrow and don't mention names, just explain what the problem is, if they ask who, tell them you'd rather not say the name or something.

+1

ask them how you can help her out to seek help.  You don't know what is going on in her head.  None of us don't know.  

Would the therapist tell me exactly what to do and say to get her out of depression?
Didn't think so...

You can't do that without a long time of therapy, and she won't accept that. 

NO, you are not a therapist.  S/he will tell you what you can do to get her to seek help.

[FYB]

Would the therapist tell me exactly what to do and say to get her out of depression?
Didn't think so...

You can't do that without a long time of therapy, and she won't accept that. 

What does she like to do? If you can get her happy enough to tell her that she needs to forget the past and look forward, then it could work. Otherwise as already stated "RUN".

[Oogly50]

If I run, she won't get the help she needs. 

[detch01]

Oogly, you have no responsibility for this girl whatsoever unless you assume it. From what I've read that you've written there are only possible two scenarios: She is in need of serious, professional help; or she is trying to blackmail you emotionally. The former you're not equipped to deal with, and the latter is BS you don't need in you're life. If you think her life is actually in danger and you walk away doing nothing or try to intervene yourself and fail (a very likely situation if she is truly suicidal) you'll carry that with you the rest of your life. Phoning a therapist will do exactly nothing - last I heard they do not have the legal right to go pick someone up, only the police have that right.
If you don't think her life is actually in danger, just walk away and cut off all communication with her.


asw

[Oogly50]

Oogly, you have no responsibility for this girl whatsoever unless you assume it. From what I've read that you've written there are only possible two scenarios: She is in need of serious, professional help; or she is trying to blackmail you emotionally. The former you're not equipped to deal with, and the latter is BS you don't need in you're life. If you think her life is actually in danger and you walk away doing nothing or try to intervene yourself and fail (a very likely situation if she is truly suicidal) you'll carry that with you the rest of your life. Phoning a therapist will do exactly nothing - last I heard they do not have the legal right to go pick someone up, only the police have that right.
If you don't think her life is actually in danger, just walk away and cut off all communication with her.


asw

Your contradicting yourself.  (Idk if I spelled that right)  You said she needs serious and professional help... Followed by "A therapist will do exactly nothing" 
If a therapist can't help, who can? 

[Saxman]

First off, I'm a bit shocked at the suggestions to just outright leaving. From what you're saying abandonment and loss of trust is a MAJOR source of what's happening. Just walking out is probably going to exacerbate the problem, especially if she's never confided in anyone before. At the very least make SOME effort to get her to professional help,

Since she told you she's never talked to anyone about this before she may be afraid of talking with a total stranger and that's one reason she refuses to seek professional help. Having a familiar face who she's already confided in at her side may make it more comfortable, even if not easy, and might be the difference.

Offer to go with her, sit through it with her. Telling someone to do something is easy and anyone can do that. It would be MUCH more meaningful and convincing a gesture if you actually participate. Not just driving her to the appointment, but actually sticking around, sitting next to her and being there for her. And IMO, if you really want to be with someone that is going through this, you HAVE to be prepared to be involved wherever necessary. Ultimately she has to take care of this herself, but that doesn't mean she needs to go through it alone. She's going to need support, and if you can get her there you can learn yourself exactly what that means, and what you need to do.

[FYB]

Your contradicting yourself.  (Idk if I spelled that right)  You said she needs serious and professional help... Followed by "A therapist will do exactly nothing" 
If a therapist can't help, who can? 

You know, that Therapist will do nothing is just BS. They have Therapists and Therapy for a reason.

But he is right. If she is just playing you, leave... There's nothing worse than someone who thinks suicide or serious things are just a joke.

[Oogly50]

First off, I'm a bit shocked at the suggestions to just outright leaving. From what you're saying abandonment and loss of trust is a MAJOR source of what's happening. Just walking out is probably going to exacerbate the problem, especially if she's never confided in anyone before. At the very least make SOME effort to get her to professional help,

Since she told you she's never talked to anyone about this before she may be afraid of talking with a total stranger and that's one reason she refuses to seek professional help. Having a familiar face who she's already confided in at her side may make it more comfortable, even if not easy, and might be the difference.

Offer to go with her, sit through it with her. Telling someone to do something is easy and anyone can do that. It would be MUCH more meaningful and convincing a gesture if you actually participate. Not just driving her to the appointment, but actually sticking around, sitting next to her and being there for her. And IMO, if you really want to be with someone that is going through this, you HAVE to be prepared to be involved wherever necessary. Ultimately she has to take care of this herself, but that doesn't mean she needs to go through it alone. She's going to need support, and if you can get her there you can learn yourself exactly what that means, and what you need to do.

That's what I was planning on doing.  I want to help her and be there for her. 

Keep in mind though, I am only 14, but I know she is not pulling my leg. 


A few more things I should note: She's gotten into drinking, and it appears that there could be some bonding issues between her and her mom... Meaning, her mom blames everything on her.  She's also been mollested by her Grandfather, but nobody else knows, and so she fears a therapist would tell her mom that, which would just destroy her. 

[detch01]

Oogly do as you please, but just for the record, you're taking that statement out of context. A therapist is where she should wind up but a therapist has no authority to go and arrest her to prevent a suicide attempt - the police can, but they may not. If you think she is in danger of doing herself in then do what you can to prevent that. If she is not in danger of doing herself then she is using your own emotions to blackmail you into giving her attention - if that's what floats your boat, then have at it and good luck.

I'm done here.

[hubsonfire]

x2. Run, while cruel, is actually good advice.

[Saxman]

That's what I was planning on doing.  I want to help her and be there for her. 

Keep in mind though, I am only 14, but I know she is not pulling my leg. 


A few more things I should note: She's gotten into drinking, and it appears that there could be some bonding issues between her and her mom... Meaning, her mom blames everything on her.  She's also been mollested by her Grandfather, but nobody else knows, and so she fears a therapist would tell her mom that, which would just destroy her. 

Patient confidentiality would prevent a therapist from revealing that information. I think there's only a few extreme cases where they can legally violate it.

[Nwbie]

Birds of a feather flock together

Are you an enabler? Does she see in you something that makes her want to confess something like that to you?
Get away if you think that you can help her, she needs professional help, and you will only make it worse.  I believe when people say - run - they mean - you will be sucked into a black hole vortex of pain and misery if you think you can change her.