Joke of the day...

[BrownBaron]

See Rule #6

[Banshee7]

  at all of them

[JunkyII]

 

[JunkyII]

Little Johnny has a nightmare one night and decides to go to his parents room. He walks in on his dad railing

his mom. His dad, in the excitement, yells at him to go away. After hes done the dad feels really bad and

decided to go talk to lil johnny but he wasnt in his room, then he heres a noise from the next room. The dad

walks in on Little johnny railing his grandmother, little johnny looks back and says "HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL!!!"

[1pLUs44]

Little Johnny has a nightmare one night and decides to go to his parents room. He walks in on his dad railing

his mom. His dad, in the excitement, yells at him to go away. After hes done the dad feels really bad and

decided to go talk to lil johnny but he wasnt in his room, then he heres a noise from the next room. The dad

walks in on Little johnny railing his grandmother, little johnny looks back and says "HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL!!!"

Funnier every time I hear it.

[kamori]

WHY YOU NEVER

   QUESTION A

   DRUNK

   

   

   I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

   

   A half-gallon of 2% milk,

   A carton of eggs,

   A quart of orange juice,

   A head of romaine lettuce,

   A 2 lb. Can of coffee, and

   A 1 lb. Package of  bacon.

   

     As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out,

   A drunk standing behind  me watched as I placed the items in front of the

   Cashier.

     

   While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk

   Calmly stated,  "You must be single."

   

     I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was

   Intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single.

   I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing

   Particularly unusual about my selections that could have

   Tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

     

   Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you

   Know what, you're absolutely right.  But how on

   Earth did you know that?"

   

     The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

[phatzo]

See Rule #12

[JunkyII]

See rule #12

WHY YOU NEVER

   QUESTION A

   DRUNK

    

    

   I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

    

   A half-gallon of 2% milk,

   A carton of eggs,

   A quart of orange juice,

   A head of romaine lettuce,

   A 2 lb. Can of coffee, and

   A 1 lb. Package of  bacon.

    

     As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out,

   A drunk standing behind  me watched as I placed the items in front of the

   Cashier.

      

   While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk

   Calmly stated,  "You must be single."

    

     I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was

   Intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single.

   I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing

   Particularly unusual about my selections that could have

   Tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

      

   Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you

   Know what, you're absolutely right.  But how on

   Earth did you know that?"

    

     The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

[Denholm]

See Rule #12

That wasn't in the message.

[Nwbie]

See Rule #14

[Denholm]

See Rule #14

[druski85]

Insert politically themed joke to otherwise awesome joke thread here.

Hijack joke thread with topical and intelligent historical political quote here. 

...

Can we make an attempt not to let this one get locked?

[Raptor]

I'm going to go to a ball game with a  tattooed prostitute that I met at
a yard sale, and drink  beer!   Yay!

Well, now Budweiser is owned by a German company so that statement may be wrong

[Nwbie]

...

Can we make an attempt not to let this one get locked?

Wasn't meant to be a political statement - just funny - most people laff at it- it doesn't matter that it holds true today - the same thing was true during the last administration

it is just an attempt at sharing humor - I thought it was funny

NwBie

[gyrene81]

Well, now Budweiser is owned by a German company so that statement may be wrong

I didn't see anything mentioned in his joke about that nasty swill from Anotherhoser Bushpirate brewing in Missouri, Buttwhistler beer is worse than Coors...so the statement is correct as long as it is New Glarus, Abita Springs or Dixie beer (all American owned).