Man Law

[ZetaNine]

so.....on another board that I frequent (NFL Board ) where I am almost as annoying as I am here......I came upon a thread that I thought was not only dayum funny......but has great potential on this board.

the thread was started by a guy who had a buddy ask him something that made him rather uncomfortable...and within a few posts....other people started adding things......based of the Man Law premise: what guys should not do for or with other guys......

here were some of the ones I thought were funny:


1)  A guy is never required to give another guy a birthday card. As a matter of fact, gifts are not warranted unless they involve half nekked women, firearms, alcohol or any combination of all three....and bacon.


2)  Ask if these jeans make my *** look fat????


3) Definitely have to have the "we're not gay seat" between you in a theater.


4)  Stand and hold the door for another guy. You can reach behind you and flip it open so he can catch it, but that's all.


there's GOT to be some other good ones.....

[OOZ662]

Errr...man hug?

[gyrene81]

Yeah, no hugging without a handshake in between, max 3 pats on the back, and absolutely for no more than 5 seconds.


No holding hands unless you're helping the guy off the ground or over an obstacle.

[maddafinga]

Ride on the back of another man's motorcycle.

[OOZ662]

No holding hands unless you're helping the guy off the ground or over an obstacle.

Even then, you ought to be "grasping his wrist," not "holding his hand."

EDIT:

1)  A guy is never required to give another guy a birthday card. As a matter of fact, gifts are not warranted unless they involve half nekked women, firearms, alcohol or any combination of all three....and bacon.

Comes in handy. Yeah. That's right. Canned bacon.

[eagl]

It isn't "we're not gay" seating, it's "man spacing".  It has nothing to do with sexuality, it has everything to do with a guy's gotta have his space.  A hot chick can encroach, but that's because her presence overrides man spacing.  A case of beer may also occupy the empty seat, because a case of beer overrides man spacing.  But another guy encroaching on man spacing is just some guy in your space...  He brings nothing of value into your space, unlike a hot chick or beer.

Get it?

Besides, you can bet that they guy walking around saying "I'm not gay" all the time is probably the gay guy anyhow.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the ones making a big deal about it are the ones with the "problem".

I've been a fighter pilot for 15 years and I haven't ever seen another fighter pilot do anything to prove that he isn't gay, or feel any pressure to claim "not gay" status.  The very few gay fighter pilots and WSOs I know didn't have anything to prove either, even though the AF didn't treat them very well.

Except for the F-15C drivers...  They're all gay and desperate to prove they're not.  But we all know the truth.  Sinners.

[eagl]

Ride on the back of another man's motorcycle.

Eww gross.

Ever have to use the urinal next to some guy who's dressed overly well and who looks like a pretty-boy, all proud of his manhood...  And feel compelled to tip the karmic balance a bit?  Easy solution - Glance at him briefly, glance down, then look him right in the eyes and say...

"nice watch"

[USRanger]

I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death.  He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird."   I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position.


Guess ya had to be there.

[Ruler2]

I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death.  He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird."   I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position.


Guess ya had to be there.

Ranger, no matter HOW bad anything you guys do over there looks its still better looking than some rat-faced hag makin love to a goat.  Thanks for everything you do! Hopefully my dad won't be takin you home anytime soon!  (brings MedEvac crews down and back) 

[OOZ662]

its still better looking than some rat-faced hag makin love to a goat.

I'm getting a lot of use for this today.



But, I do agree. About all of it, that is.

[Denholm]

Errr...man hug?

Well, we can't take this as truth when they suggest we pat our male friends on the back using the left hand yet they demonstrate it with the right. Definitely not something men should do.

[Raptor]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL4L4Uv5rf0

[68ZooM]

I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death.  He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird."   I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position.


Guess ya had to be there.

HAHAHA  ranger thats priceless, was anyone singing home on the range?

[Serenity]

I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death.  He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird."   I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position.


Guess ya had to be there.

lol. One thing I noticed is that everyone I know who has served in the military is absolutely uninhibited when it comes to doing what needs to be done. You guys have the balls to come uncomfortable close to each others' when you have to and not feel gay about it. <S>

[maddafinga]

I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death.  He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird."   I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position.


Guess ya had to be there.

Well if it's to keep from freezing to death, and it's with a gunner of some sort, then it's probably ok.  But just that once.  I don't know that David Hackworth would have done it though, the badassness of him would have just kept the cold off naturally.