Author Topic: OXYMORONS......  (Read 904 times)

Offline Heater

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OXYMORONS......
« on: November 24, 2009, 09:32:02 AM »
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control
when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27.Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?


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Offline john9001

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2009, 09:41:32 AM »
there are some classics there. 

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

27.Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

 :D


Offline Simba

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2009, 06:00:43 PM »
Here's a true oxymoron:

Military Intelligence.

<runs for cover>  :bolt:
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Offline saggs

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2009, 06:22:21 PM »
Peace force

Offline SIK1

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2009, 07:28:22 PM »
congressional fact finding mission.
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Offline 68ZooM

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2009, 07:36:45 PM »
Secret Service....  ummm fellas your not to "secret" we all now who you are lol    :devil

Central Intelligence Agency     Are you serous?  :rolleyes:

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Offline E25280

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2009, 09:24:10 PM »
I thought this was the oxi-moron.

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Offline Latrobe

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2009, 11:17:34 PM »
Oxymorons, almost as fun as Puns!  :D

Offline jay

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2009, 11:30:02 PM »
lol yup  :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Offline Ruler2

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2009, 01:05:29 AM »
I thought this was the oxi-moron.

(Image removed from quote.)

No,that's stodd.


here's an oxymoron: smartass  :headscratch:

Offline stran

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2009, 02:45:55 AM »
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
it's not called or numbered the third hand. lame!

Here's a true oxymoron:

Military Intelligence.

<runs for cover>  :bolt:
found it! the first oxymoron in this thread.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2009, 02:50:22 AM by stran »
Squash

Offline usvi

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2009, 03:25:59 AM »
Loving Wife  :headscratch:
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Offline Blooz

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2009, 05:02:30 AM »
Pretty ugly.
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Offline Skuzzy

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2009, 07:37:01 AM »
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Uhmmm, shouldn't it read;

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack and where do you buy more to replace it when you are out?
« Last Edit: November 25, 2009, 07:49:43 AM by Skuzzy »
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Offline lowZX14

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Re: OXYMORONS......
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2009, 07:38:38 AM »
Here's a true oxymoron:

Military Intelligence.

<runs for cover>  :bolt:

 :mad: :mad: :mad:
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