Before Thanksgiving we were entertained by SWrokit explaining to us how his wife was fisting the turkey in preparation for cooking. We were, of course, get quite crude during the rest of our flight time together and I posted this response on our squad forums. Maybe it'll help, maybe not, but I feel that as "chef", I wouldn't be living up to my call sign without adding a bit to this thread. Enjoy.
LMFAO, discussing turkey prep and flight should not be done at the same time. It's too hard to see bogies through the tears.
:
So Thursday morning I get the turkey out of the fridge, cut off the wrapper, and begin giggling. Rinsing the cavity just brings a smile to my face. So I decided to write down for ya'll how I prepped my bird. Remember to do the reach around thing at this point to allow for proper fluid drainage. Clean up with a towel.
Next, I place her on the kitchen counter and formulate my plan of attack. Spin her around to get a good look-see and assure cleanliness. I've found that getting under her skin at this point is much better then later on. Start at the small hole by inserting 1 or 2 fingers, depending on how loose it is, and slide back forth slowly, adding more fingers until your whole hand is in. Hold by the breast if needed while you push all the way in.
While still under her skin, grab a handful of seasoned butter and, beginning at the breasts, apply liberally while massaging your way back to the opening. Remember to get the inner and outer thighs and legs too. Fill injector with seasoned oil and butter mixture and poke and inject every inch or so till body is oozing injector fluid. Rub excess to cover body.
Take a break, wash up, grab a beer and smoke if you want, and let her rest before stuffing.
Position so the cavity is facing upwards, grab the legs to hold in this position while you pour Olive oil to coat inner cavity walls. Rotate, move, wiggle, as necessary for proper lubrication. Insert hand and rub oil throughout cavity until evenly covered. Lay her back down and stuff with whatever you want till the cavity is full. I used 3 carrots, 2 onions and 4 stalks of celery. She was bigger than I thought.
Drizzle entire body with hot, melted, seasoned butter and put in roaster or oven till she pops.
At this time, after a cooling off period, she is ready to be eaten. But that's a story for another time.
