I'll have whatever he's drinking!
But in the spirit of his imbibing in the spirits I'll post a little ditty from days of Christmas past
( <S> Milenko! ) Back to the year 2001...........(edited:to before the effing 'bad word' filter)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Base, Not a C-HOG was stirring, nor a NIKI showed his face;
The Ostwinds were lined by the runway with care, In hopes that Mustangs and JUGs soon would be there;
The ASSASSINS were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of easy kills danced in their heads;
And HBLAIR in his 'goggles, and I in my Turban wrap, Had just settled down for a 180 proof nightcap;
When out on the flightline there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the stool to see what's the matter;
Away to the hanger I flew like a flash, Tore open the doors and dodged a pile of trash;
The moon on the breast of the new NUTTZ terrain gave the lustre of mid-day to objects like planes;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear? But a Fat Drunk Bastard, and eight tiny bish queer;
With a obese and homely driver, so pallid and sick, I knew in a moment it must be that Fatty pr1ck;
More rapid than beagles his BASTARDS they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Gordo! now, skernsk! now, creamo and Trimmer! On, SOB! on Central! on mason and Argyll!
To the top of the pizza! to the top of SHINERBLOCK Hall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry heaves that before the wild vomit does fly, When they meet with a toilet, then splash in your eye,
So up to the beerhall roof the Bastards they flew, With the sleigh full of sextoys, and that Fatty pr1ck too;
And then, with a squawk, I heard on my radio set "hurry to airborne or no beer would we get";
As I climbed in my plane, and was turning 'er round, I looked out and saw Fatty that Fat Bastard clown.
He was dressed all in silk, in a cheap pimp's suit, And his clothes were all glittery with rhinestones to boot;
A bundle of porn he had flung on his back, And he looked like a wino or someone hooked on rock crack;
His eyes -- how shallow! his pimples how scary! His cheeks were pockmarked, his back was real hairy!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a pucker, all I could think "How do I git rid of this F*cker?";
The stump of a buffalo-wing he held tight in his teeth, And the smell of BBQ sauce encircled his head
like a wreath;
He had a homely face and a big fat belly, that shook, when he belched; his breath was real smelly;
He was shabby and filthy, a right nasty ol queer, still I stood my ground when I saw him, in spite of my fear;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know he'd be a homosexual to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the sink, pulled out his JOHNSON then flashed me some pink;
And sticking his finger two knuckle deep in his nose, he pulled out a booger, that'd curl your toes;
Then to his plane the Fat Bastard did roll, hopped on it's wing like a chubby ol troll;
Once strapped in and settled to his team he gave a whistle, And away they all flew, the bunch of flabby pig gristle;
Then I heard him break wind, ere he dove out of sight, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"
