Author Topic: joke of the day  (Read 2542 times)

Offline Tac

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4085
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #45 on: November 15, 2009, 08:54:17 PM »


Ah, engrish...


Offline brad13

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 155
      • Hovercontrol
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #46 on: November 15, 2009, 09:12:17 PM »
hmmm I got a dirty one but I dont wanna be kicked off forums so ill just... :bolt:
"The English had hit upon a splendid joke. They intended to catch me or to bring me down."-Manfred Von Richthofen

Check out: Hovercontrol.com

Offline john9001

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9453
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #47 on: November 15, 2009, 09:40:20 PM »
They're too busy making these:
(Image removed from quote.)

anyone find it odd that the amish are selling electric heaters?

Offline dkff49

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1720
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #48 on: November 15, 2009, 09:45:54 PM »
Although the adds says they are giving the heaters away with the purchase of their mantles.

This would not be the first time i would have seen someone claiming to be Amish to sell items.

I don't believe they are Amish at all. Listen to the add if you see it on TV, there is no accent and in most (if not all) communities they learn Dutch prior to learning English. My daughter was able to play with one of my cousins children for the first time a couple of years ago and my mother tells me that it was amazing how well they played even though they spoke completely different languages.


oops slightly off topic
Haxxor has returned!!!!
Dave
        

Offline Clone155

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 918
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #49 on: November 15, 2009, 09:47:25 PM »

Ah, engrish...

(Image removed from quote.)

 :rofl :rofl :rofl

Were is this naughty palace? And why are there guns and artillery in it?  :rofl

Offline druski85

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1212
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #50 on: November 16, 2009, 08:28:50 AM »
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

Fantastic.  :rofl

Offline TracerX

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3230
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #51 on: November 16, 2009, 11:13:19 AM »
A man has spent years teaching his dog to talk, and decides to take the dog to the bar to show his friends.  The Bartender tells him dogs are not allowed in the bar, but the man explains that this is a special talking dog.  The bartender doesn't believe him and says to leave anyway.  The man argues that not only can he talk, but he is an expert on the New York Yankees.  Amused as a Yankees fan, the bartender says that if he can proove the dog can talk, he would buy him a beer.  So the man puts the dog on a stool and starts with a simple question, "what is the part of a house keeps you dry in the rain?"   The dog barks out "RRRRROOF."  Come on says the bartender, that is nothing.  The man says you ask the dog the next question.  The bartender confirms that the dog knows the Yankees history, so he asks, "who was the best Yankee player ever?"  The dog barks out "RRRRUTH."  The bartender is mad and not convinced and calls the bouncers over and throws the guy and the dog out into the street.  The man stands up, looks angrilly at the dog and says "you dumb dog, you got us kicked out of my favorite bar."  The dog looks back at the man and says, "What!?, should I have said Dimaggio?"

Offline ebfd11

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4151
      • [b]POTW[/b]
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #52 on: November 16, 2009, 12:45:48 PM »
How can you tell if a woman is loose??


She sits on a barstool and sinks to the floor....

How can you tell if she's talented???

She stands up and the barstool is gone.
PIGS ON THE WING 3RD WING

InGame id: LawnDart
RIP Skullman Potzie and BentNail

Offline Dragon

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7055
      • AH JUGS
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #53 on: November 16, 2009, 02:43:56 PM »
Mexibonics

 *Mexican words of the day:

1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.  Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.

2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom

3. *Shoulder*
My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know how to read, So I shoulder.

4. * Texas *
My fren always Texas me when I'm not home wondering where I'm at!

5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.

6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!

7. *Rectum*
I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!

8. *Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.

9. *Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry, wheelchair

10. *Chicken* *wing*
 My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey, "harassment nothing to me."

12. *Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.

13. *Body wash*
I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.

14. *Budweiser*
 That women over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?*
SWchef  Lieutenant Colonel  Squadron Training Officer  125th Spartan Warriors

Offline Serenity

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7313
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #54 on: November 16, 2009, 09:32:42 PM »
Mexibonics

 *Mexican words of the day:

1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.  Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.

2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom

3. *Shoulder*
My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know how to read, So I shoulder.

4. * Texas *
My fren always Texas me when I'm not home wondering where I'm at!

5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.

6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!

7. *Rectum*
I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!

8. *Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.

9. *Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry, wheelchair

10. *Chicken* *wing*
 My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey, "harassment nothing to me."

12. *Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.

13. *Body wash*
I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.

14. *Budweiser*
 That women over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?*


Those are actually REALLY good!

Offline EskimoJoe

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4831
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #55 on: November 16, 2009, 11:28:27 PM »
Holy jesus that is the funniest thing I have ever read!

Agreed!  :rofl

Those are actually REALLY good!

Agreed!  :rofl
« Last Edit: November 16, 2009, 11:30:57 PM by EskimoJoe »
Put a +1 on your geekness atribute  :aok

Offline guncrasher

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 17360
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #56 on: November 30, 2009, 06:53:57 PM »

Ah, engrish...

(Image removed from quote.)

think this is a sign posted at a shooting range/mall in Argentina, (that's in south America, no, not close to Alabama).  but this picture is from a school close to where I live.  notice the mispelintg.




semp
you dont want me to ho, dont point your plane at me.

Offline choker41

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 231
Re: joke of the day
« Reply #57 on: December 17, 2009, 04:47:33 PM »
I got another "Johnny Joke".



Little Johnny is sitting in class and the teacher says,"I'm going to say a quate and the first one to give the right answer may go home early."  She says, " who said four score and seven years ago"....Johnny opens his mouth to answer but Sally yells out " Abraham Lincoln".  Teacher dismisses Sally.

Then she says, " I have a dream...." Johnny opens his mouth but Lia yells out Martin Luther King.  Lisa gets dismissed early too.  She then says, " ask not what your country can do for you..." Johnny starts to say...but Dawn yells out JFK.  She leaves too.  Johnny's pissed. He yells out I wish these ###ches would keep there mouths shut!  The teacher turns around irate yells out Who said that?  Johnny says, "Tiger Woods...Can I go home now?
Formerly known as choker41
Proud member of the Swampdragons
IN GAME ID:   FUBAR