Balance is the key for me. I do know one thing is certain though, on average, the dueling/furball guys who get picked off most the time are doing so as a result of their own indifference and pure desire to just mix it up. A lot of these guys are very skilled and could fly with more strategy and SA if they so chose to do. Take Corky for example. It just bores them to death, nothing wrong with that in the least bit, encouraging the fight, kudos to them. The other side of the coin however, your Chalenge's for example. Guys that will avoid fights at any cost if there's a 5% chance of death, these guys have good SA and ability to stay alive. I don't however, think these guys know much if anything at all about ACM and actually maneuvering their aircraft in an advantageless position. Prove me wrong though Chalenge, fight me in the DA, if you demonstrate that you do know how to do anything other than pick, I will vouch for you in that sense that you do have some skills. Until then, you're probably going to get jabbed until the end of time on these boards.
I'll usually avoid situations if there is higher than a 60-70% chance of death(subjective but my brain works out those things instinctively and translates them into stats, as I usually die >50% of the time
), but will go in guns a blazing if I have a reasonable chance of success. That's how I have fun in this game, a good balance between SA and aggression.