Ain't that the truth.
But I have a question for someone who's actually been there:
Mace,
Years ago I did Carrier Suitability work on a "not so brightly lit" program. The Mk 7 Mod 3 gear was state of the art back then, but it still was limited to 50,000 lb max trap weight. I was told by a Grumman engineer at the time that the F-14's couldn't get down to this max recovery weight while carrying 6 AIM-54's, so they typically only flew with four. Is this true?
F14 max trap was 54k lbs. I don't know much about the limits of the arresting gear but have to assume the Mk7 must have had a Mod4.
To figure out your max trap fuel you take the basic airframe weight of 44klbs and add the weight of ordnance and launchers (all these numbers are just rounded off for simplicity). Six AIM54C's would be 6k plus the weight of the four weapons rails in the belly which, if I remember correctly were about 300lbs each plus two sidewinders at 500lbs total and about 300 lbs of 20mm. That load out would give you a weight without fuel of about 52k lbs. With the 54k lbs max trap weight that leaves you with 2k lbs for fuel so it's theoretically possible (provided you don't have external tanks); however, while 2k lbs sounds like a lot of gas it isn't, you're basically driving with the fuel needle on E. Actually, NATOPS requires you to land with at least 2k lbs of fuel to take into account the possibility of a misrigged fuel totalizer and trapped (i.e., unusuable) fuel. If you really found yourself at the CV with six buffalos strapped on you'd have to jettison two to give you 4k lbs on the ball and that's about as low as you ever want to go. The problem with this scenario is that buffalos cost $1M each so even dropping just one is a real expensive proposition.
If you thought you needed the Phoenix (and would be able to use it given the ROE) you'd typically carry two in the forward part of the tunnel, and two Sparrows and two Sidewiders on the glove stations. That's a bit less than 4k lbs of ordnance giving you max trap fuel of 6k lbs. This is a much more comfortable amount if you can't get aboard and you are within bingo range of a divert field. If you were blue water (i.e., no divert available and you either get aboard, succesfully tank, or eject) you could plan on being on the ball with 4k lbs of fuel since a divert isn't an option anyway. Also, the extra fuel let you delta (hold) while the brand spanking new Hornet dweebs started crying that they were low on gas (which is basically the condition they launched in
) and needed to land first, ahead of the real fighters.