Author Topic: a blog entry from my friend.....  (Read 514 times)

Offline betty

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2512
a blog entry from my friend.....
« on: February 24, 2010, 05:52:08 AM »
hes a guy....i thought u guys would get a giggle out of this, its not to offend anyone male or female so plz dont take it that way....


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good).

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side ..

Now here are the rules from the male side. 
 

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday is for Sports!
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
 
Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh!

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an even bigger laugh
~~~The Killuminati~~~                                                     

!!!!!POTIUS MORI QUAM FOEDARI!!!!

Offline JunkyII

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 8428
Re: a blog entry from my friend.....
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2010, 06:39:55 AM »
1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

:rofl :rofl :rofl
DFC Member
Proud Member of Pigs on the Wing
"Yikes"

Offline EskimoJoe

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4831
Re: a blog entry from my friend.....
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2010, 11:41:21 PM »
This is great  :rofl
Put a +1 on your geekness atribute  :aok

Offline phatzo

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3734
      • No Crying
Re: a blog entry from my friend.....
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2010, 12:14:07 AM »
I really like rule #1
No thank you Turkish, I'm sweet enough.

Offline AWwrgwy

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 5478
Re: a blog entry from my friend.....
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2010, 03:14:41 AM »
I really like rule #1

me too.

Excellent work and I'm sure soon to be stolen, if it wasn't to begin with  ;), and disseminated all over the intardnet.


wrongway
71 (Eagle) Squadron
"THAT"S PAINT!!"

"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through."
- General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay

Online Meatwad

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 12881
Re: a blog entry from my friend.....
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2010, 07:25:37 PM »
me too.

Excellent work and I'm sure soon to be stolen, if it wasn't to begin with  ;), and disseminated all over the intardnet.


wrongway

Its actually been around a long time now
See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline texasmom

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6078
Re: a blog entry from my friend.....
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2010, 10:19:28 PM »
 :lol
<S> Easy8
<S> Mac