Author Topic: New Clean Jokes  (Read 242 times)

Offline AKKuya

  • Aces High CM Staff
  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2641
New Clean Jokes
« on: March 15, 2010, 02:35:02 PM »
Baking Secret

I finally figured out the difference between cupcakes, muffins, and scones.  They're exactly the same except yu have to suck the moisture out of the cupcakes to turn them into muffins.  Then you leave them sitting on the counter for about a month to turn them into scones.

A Few Wrinkels

I had been thinking about coloring my hair.  One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked.  Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband, "How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?"

He looked at the picture, crumpled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. "Just great, Honey"


Time to Go

Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit.  "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the inevitable answer.

"Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."

"I know," said her mother,"I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."


Burglary

The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.

"It's bad," said the proprietor, "bit it's not as bad as it could have been if he'd robbed me yesterday."

"Why is that?" the detective asked.

"Because today everything was on sale."


Hijacked Bus

A crook tried to hijack a bus full of Japanese tourists.  Fortunately the police had 5000 photographs of the suspect.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade in the world. Every morning when you wake up, swallow a live toad. Nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day. They say money can't buy happiness. I would like the opportunity to find out. Why be serious?

Offline 68ZooM

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6337
Re: New Clean Jokes
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2010, 02:54:25 PM »
Wife asks her husband, honey do i look fat with these jeans on? dumbfounded the husband looks at her and says, no honey you look fatter without them on...................And the fight persued
UrSelf...Pigs On The Wing...Retired

Was me, I bumped a power cord. HiTEch