16 yr old teen lost at sea

[eagl]

Once upon a time, a 16 year old boy or girl was considered an adult in every sense of the word.

QFT.  Less than 100 years ago people here age were considered adults or children based entirely on their actions.  I have read dozens of historical accounts where 14 year old (or younger) runaways working on sailing ships were a "normal" thing, and 16 was easily considered adulthood.  Yes the risks are pretty high, but adults take risks.

The only issue I would have is if she didn't want to go, and she was forced to by her parents.  If that were the case though, I bet she would have aborted the voyage by now.

[dedalos]

If that "positive" is at the expense of considerable risk to the adolescent, then yes I can blame the parents.  

And fyi, there is no way in hell a 16 year old has enough experience to do a solo trip around the world.

Risk isn't a binary function.  There are degrees of risk.  The fact that the mother would compare soloing around the world at the age of 16 to driving a car is beyond stupid.

I know, right?  You have to be at list 17 or 18?

This decision is between her and her parents.  You have no idea who she is what she could do etc.  People should deal with their own watermelon and leave others alone.  If the parents thought she was mature enough and had the skills to do it then we have nothing to say.  Things could go wrong at the sea no matter how old you are or how mature you are.  You don;t like it, don;t let your kids do it until they are 18 (cause you know, that is when the government said we are mature enough).  However, stay out of other peoples business, especially when you know nothing about them and their actions do not have any impact on you.

So now, statistically, what is more dangerous?  Being in plain, a boat, or in car with a bunch of inexperienced drunk teenagers?  I assume you know the answer since you called her mother stupid for comparing them. 

Funny how we can send 18 year old kids to war but sailing at 16 is stupid 

[Grind]

Sailng - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQeqmNbA2Hs&feature=related   

Depends on the kid.... one size does not fit all.

[uptown]

she's alive  

[grizz441]

However, stay out of other peoples business, especially when you know nothing about them and their actions do not have any impact on you.

 
It was national news, and this is an intardnet forum.  I'm not in their business, I'm just voicing my opinion on a current issue.  No problem with disagreement, but don't pretend like I'm stepping on the family's toes over this thread.   

Glad she was found and is safe.

[dedalos]

It was national news, and this is an intardnet forum.  I'm not in their business, I'm just voicing my opinion on a current issue.  No problem with disagreement, but don't pretend like I'm stepping on the family's toes over this thread.   

Glad she was found and is safe.

Yep, and I am voicing mine

[Vudak]

How many parents let their kids buy Maximas or WRX's each year?  I'd much rather they sent them sailing.

[grizz441]

Yep, and I am voicing mine

You told me to stay out of others business, and I let you know that I was not in their business.   

[68Wooley]

I'm a qualified sailing instructor, have sailed in everything from Laser dingies to Volvo Ocean Racers. I have a female friend who have circumnavigated solo - albeit in her early 20's. I've also met many 16 year olds who are capable of doing it. Adding another five years wouldn't change their ability to cope with a problem if / when it occurred. The only question is when we stop protecting them and decide it's up to them. If we're deciding this is too risky for a 16 year old, then where do we draw the line? Are snow sports too risky? How about mountain or trail biking? Football?

16 is an age I think we can start letting kids take adult risks if - as many of them are - they have the maturity to handle it. At 16, I was climbing and skiing off-piste in the Alps and taking part in blue water sailing events. Those are experiences that shaped who I am and wouldn't have changed it for anything. My wife's parents on the other hand wouldn't let her learn to swim in 'because she might drown'. Ask her now what kind of upbringing she would rather have had.

There's only two things concerning me here:

1. Did they really base their decision on when to leave on her breaking a record at the expense of good judgment on weather conditions? That would have been dumb. Not criminally dumb, but certainly dumb.

and

2. Who's compensating the Aussies for another Southern Ocean rescue mission?

[Penguin]

yes you can!!! until they are adults they are under YOUR supervision, I will be dead before I let my kids do the things "they want"
 it's called good parenting, the parenting of today is straight up horrible they let the kids run the streets do and say whatever they want, it's sad really, very few kids now a days respect there parents, they think they have "privacy" 
   NOT in my house, I go through my kids FaceBook and Myspace and anything else that I feel I should, I make them delete friends that say bad crap or leave sexual comments.  heck I regret even letting them have a Facebook/myspace.

That sounds, neurotic.  I'm sorry, but that makes you sound like a control freak- I could see if you were living in some sort of horrid situation with drugs being found everywhere and all that jazz.  It doesn't seem to be that way though; it seems to me that you are warping these kids by having them live in a police state.  If you force yourself into every facet of their existence, then they will have issues later on.

Here's a good example:

Parent invades every inch of kid's life->
Kid sees parent as overbearing/raider (as in raiding everything the child has to think about)->
Kid has three options->
1.)Accept it and move on with no problems
2.)Take offence and rebel
3.)See option 1 but with problems such as neuroticism, vicarious existence (goes to other control extreme), and does everything that you said no to

Anecdotally, the looming presence of a "big brother" watching everything you do is just creepy- where does it all end?  If you fear not rifling through a MySpace or Facebook, a secret keylogger shouldn't be a stretch.  Or perhaps a screen-capture bot that will constantly stream their browsing?  Or how about a(some) camera(s) in their room to watch what they do in there?  Heck, even a door shouldn't be allowed!

To conclude my point, all things in moderation- Privacy, just like Risk, is a binary function or a zero-sum game, both parties can benefit from doing things in degrees.

-Penguin

[Lepape2]

Its always when things go wrong that some people get attention. If it weren't for that distress call, no one would have heard of her. Her brother made it around the globe too at age 17... Never heard of it.

So many people have been on call to find her (and they did, thankfully), and now, she attracts more attention than if she had actually made it. Everyone blames the parents for taking too much risks. That's probably because the most dangerous thing they do is drive a car between working behind an office or sleeping in front of the TV. Like some people have said on this forum: Back in the days at this age, it was time to find a husband and have a house for yourselves or be ashamed. Times have changed yes, but life is a dangerous road. Cope with it.

[guncrasher]

but life is a dangerous road. Cope with it.

it is not, but you can make it really dangerous if you want.

That sounds, neurotic.  I'm sorry, but that makes you sound like a control freak- I could see if you were living in some sort of horrid situation with drugs being found everywhere and all that jazz.  It doesn't seem to be that way though; it seems to me that you are warping these kids by having them live in a police state.  If you force yourself into every facet of their existence, then they will have issues later on.

Here's a good example:

Parent invades every inch of kid's life->
Kid sees parent as overbearing/raider (as in raiding everything the child has to think about)->
Kid has three options->
1.)Accept it and move on with no problems
2.)Take offence and rebel
3.)See option 1 but with problems such as neuroticism, vicarious existence (goes to other control extreme), and does everything that you said no to

Anecdotally, the looming presence of a "big brother" watching everything you do is just creepy- where does it all end?  If you fear not rifling through a MySpace or Facebook, a secret keylogger shouldn't be a stretch.  Or perhaps a screen-capture bot that will constantly stream their browsing?  Or how about a(some) camera(s) in their room to watch what they do in there?  Heck, even a door shouldn't be allowed!

To conclude my point, all things in moderation- Privacy, just like Risk, is a binary function or a zero-sum game, both parties can benefit from doing things in degrees.

-Penguin

wow so wrong in so many levels.

semp

[ink]

That sounds, neurotic.  I'm sorry, but that makes you sound like a control freak- I could see if you were living in some sort of horrid situation with drugs being found everywhere and all that jazz.  It doesn't seem to be that way though; it seems to me that you are warping these kids by having them live in a police state.  If you force yourself into every facet of their existence, then they will have issues later on.

Here's a good example:

Parent invades every inch of kid's life->
Kid sees parent as overbearing/raider (as in raiding everything the child has to think about)->
Kid has three options->
1.)Accept it and move on with no problems
2.)Take offence and rebel
3.)See option 1 but with problems such as neuroticism, vicarious existence (goes to other control extreme), and does everything that you said no to

Anecdotally, the looming presence of a "big brother" watching everything you do is just creepy- where does it all end?  If you fear not rifling through a MySpace or Facebook, a secret keylogger shouldn't be a stretch.  Or perhaps a screen-capture bot that will constantly stream their browsing?  Or how about a(some) camera(s) in their room to watch what they do in there?  Heck, even a door shouldn't be allowed!

To conclude my point, all things in moderation- Privacy, just like Risk, is a binary function or a zero-sum game, both parties can benefit from doing things in degrees.

-Penguin

lol obviously you are oblivious to the fact that in the very small town I live in, there are 16 and 17 year old heroin junkies, kids in 7th grade getting pregnant,  ecstasy is rampant,  drugs are a huge problem.

I lived on the streets in a much bigger town/city when I was a very young, I started out at around 9 yrs old sleeping on the streets,I grew up stealing so I could eat, did 10 years locked up before I was 22,  so I know a bit about the rough life, and what happens to teens who have no parent control.
     so don't try to tell me I am wrong, I have some of the most respectable and well behaved kids around, hell we had a bus driver tell my wife,"you have the best kids I ever had on my bus"   I know exactly what I am doing when it comes to my kids.

I don't lie to them about anything, and if there is something to mature for them to know, I tell them when they are older I will explain, you would be surprised at how amazing my kids are.

btw I have 6... a 16 yr old Girl, a 13 yr old girl, a 12 yr old girl,  11 yr old boy, 7 yr old girl,4 yr old boy.
yes all from the same woman, My wife of 17 years.

[mbailey]

That sounds, neurotic.  I'm sorry, but that makes you sound like a control freak- I could see if you were living in some sort of horrid situation with drugs being found everywhere and all that jazz.  It doesn't seem to be that way though; it seems to me that you are warping these kids by having them live in a police state.  If you force yourself into every facet of their existence, then they will have issues later on.

IMHO, its all about teaching your kids to make the right decision,to correct them when YOU believe that they are going to do something wrong, to step in when you think that what they are doing is could get injured or killed. Its not about being big brother, its about helping them steer their lives to make adult decisions. I dont disagree with you Penguin, acting like big brother and controling every aspect of their lives is wrong, but so is falling asleep at the wheel as a parent.

Regarding the parents allowing her to do this , Im of the mind that i have no knowledge of the situation other than what the media decides to sensationalize, and ultimatly who the heck am I to tell someone else how to raise their kids? What i do know is how to raise mine,and how to steer them in the direction to adulthood, and thats enough for me.

<S>

Mbailey

[Lepape2]

it is not, but you can make it really dangerous if you want.

You never know what set of events can shut the lights out of your life. It makes every moment more precious and makes you not forget your are not eternal and invincible. It makes it obvious that you must allow some flexibility. Otherwise, you cannot live, even when alive and wealthy. Somewhere along the road the line must be drawn, but lest it be not to allow only one side a degree of freedom.