i walk into the SAPP super secret underground barracks. they were pretty easy to find, thanks to the big red flag.
i greet the guys that're there, as they throw paper airplanes at each other, and make those "flying through the air" motions with their hands like we see on.
shuffler guzzles what's left of his margarita, as i grab a coke out of the 'fridge. coke is my coffee. he pulls me off to the side.
did ya hear cap? did i hear what dood? his eyes light up as if he had a conga line of me109's in his sights.
we got a new blender mode. corky, akak, and soulss worked nearly 3 days on it with no sleep. by now, his eyes are beaming, and his smile is ear to ear.
what's it do? i ask, anxious to get into my 38G o doom. well, he asks, you know how sometimes you may see an airplane do something a lil fishy when you're saddled up? yea i said, but what's that got to do with us? now, poor shuffler can hardly contain himself, and he's shaking as he continues.
akak infiltrated the enemy ranks, and found out why and how those weird things were happening. he managed to get onto the tarmac, and found one of these!! as he says this, he picks up a small thing that looks like three capacitors hooked together, and tries to hand it to me. i jump back, shaking my head. ooohhhh no ya don't!!! i've done that to too many myself. if you can get someone to hold a charged capacitor just right, they complete the circuit, and get one helluva zap.
it's not like that cap!! this will give us an advantage over those dam 109's!! it lets us "warp" time. those clowns spent 3 days straight trying to make this thing work with our blenders.
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couldn't get it to work with the normal compact blenders, so they needed to install one of these.....he points to the workbench. i nearly spit a mouthful of coke on him when i saw this blender!!
holy crap!!! that's gonna add too much weight!! nah.......akak took your armor out. my eyes popped. he did WHAT?? aawww don't worry cap!! you;'ll be fineeeeeeee......
wait.....how did
I get elected to do this? well, you just graduated from official SAPP master baiter, to official SAPP test pile-it. i gulped nervously, as i began to feel all tingly with anxiety to test this thing out. when do i take her up? right now, if ya like he tells me.
now, the other three perked up, as they heard this.
i i finished my coke, and grabbed a 6-pack of it to take with me. i walked.....nah...gotta admit it...i ran my bellybutton out to the plane, jumped in, and didn't even go through the checklists. i just fired up those allisons, let em warm up, and blasted down the runway. i could see all of them running to the runway, trying to stop me, but it was too late,,,,,i HAD to test this dam thing now.
dam!! they took the radio out??? what the hell am i gonna do now? oh well... i fly out over the water, and try to figure out how to lure someone in to let me test this thing, and am wondering why i'm testing it over the pacific when they were talking about fighting me109's with it....unless the germans really DID bomb pearl harbor, and framed the japanese. hhmmmm........
cruising along, i spot a ki-61, and decide no time better than the present. i drop in on him, and start our dance above the waves. he turns into me hard, and i take a quick shot, caught off guard by this turn.....
couple turns later, and i;m saddled up......couple of late bursts, then finally land a good one, tearing his wing off at the root. god i love my 50 cals....
i thought i saw something coming during the fight, and assumed it was help. i went level for speed, and prepared to try the new blender mode. i hit auto-pilot, and reached back, pulling the chord to get the blender fired up. just as it roared to life, i noticed the zeek dropping on me, spun in my seat, and pulled back hard on the yoke....
i took his shot away, and realized i didn't know how to fire this dam thing up. i feverishly looked around the cockpit, spotted a switch i didn't remember from before, and flipped it. WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS MADNESS!! i started hearing creaking, cracking, and other disturbing noises....then nearly pooped myself as i saw things come off the wings, my engines started smoking, and i came outta the tunnel in a completley non-flying attitude.
i tried everything, and when it became evident i wasn't gonna make her fly again, i tried to activate mode 17.......but the blender had run outta gas......
i hit hard, and broke some more things off.....
now i'm pissed. i couldn't submerge to safety, and i couldn't fly, and i was a couple of miles off the coast. that dam zeek pile-it flew right overhead, and rolled...it looked like he was laughing at me as he headed away.
i sat there for hours waiting for shuffler, and gang to come rescue me. they said something about having to farm enough perk points to earn a rescue plane, but they kept crashing...so they just stole a pt boat.
next time we draw straws.
