Author Topic: An easier way to get frisked  (Read 756 times)

Offline Tupac

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An easier way to get frisked
« on: November 22, 2010, 10:26:22 PM »
Make conversation with your frisker. Chances are they're only mildly uncomfortable with this change, but more afraid for their jobs should they screw up in even the slightest way. They're employees being put in an unreasonable situation, too. Take advantage of that. Eye contact: get some. A polite smile and a eyeful of iris can be unnerving to anyone in a stressful situation, and they're standing there for hours on end in an endless cycle of touchy repetition. Whistle loudly. You'll make everyone in line less edgy once they see someone taking it in stride, and may even make the process that much faster. When confronted with a full-body scanner and asked to rotate, do the Macarena. Tell the last TSA agent that you see while leaving the security area that it was wonderful, and ask if it was just as good for them as it was for you.Request dinner from your frisker prior to your search. Wear no underclothes. None at all. Pose briefly while in the scanner before each 90-degree turn. Consult bodybuilding videos on YouTube for references. Ask them if they can see the rash, and smile innocently.

"It was once believed that an infinite number of monkeys, typing on an infinite number of keyboards, would eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. However, with the advent of Internet messageboards we now know this is not the case."

Offline rogwar

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2010, 11:19:43 PM »
Just ask him/her to buy you a drink first.

Offline Dadano

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2010, 11:47:29 PM »
Wear a kilt.
Dano
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Offline 68ZooM

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2010, 11:49:30 PM »
full body condom and a big smile
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Was me, I bumped a power cord. HiTEch

Offline Wayout

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2010, 07:30:43 AM »
You won't see London,
 You won't see France.
Till the TSA,
 Sees your Underpants.
  For most people the sky is the limit.  For a pilot the sky is home.

Offline Masherbrum

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2010, 08:15:39 AM »
:rofl Wayout
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Offline Serenity

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2010, 11:30:45 AM »
Wayout, that's brilliant!

Offline lowZX14

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2010, 12:04:30 PM »
Wayout, man you just caused a bit of half chewed tuna sub to go flying.

Girl at work just got a job with TSA and will be working in Dulles in a few weeks.  I told her be prepared to be hated and when not at work I sure wouldn't tell anyone who I worked for these days.  Some of y'all sure wouldn't mind her being your frisker either.
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Offline ROX

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2010, 12:35:19 PM »
I think the best smarty-arsed way would be to as soon as they take you aside and start frisking to (in your best Harvey Firesteen voice) --

"Oh..Ohhhh...YEAH baby....FASTER....YEAH baby...work it....work it.......!!!"


But you'd probably get arrested.

Offline CAP1

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2010, 12:40:47 PM »
while i realize these people(the ones running the scanners, and frisking people) are at least getting jobs, rather than collecting welfare, or unemployment......i will do absotley nothing to make anyone participating in the reduction/elimination of our right feel more comfortable in any way shape or form.
 i will in fact(even if it is childish) do whatever i can within the law to make them as uncomfortable as i possibly can.
ingame 1LTCAP
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S.A.P.P.- Secret Association Of P-38 Pilots (Lightning in a Bottle)

Offline Babalonian

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2010, 01:47:35 PM »
Make conversation with your frisker. Chances are they're only mildly uncomfortable with this change, but more afraid for their jobs should they screw up in even the slightest way. They're employees being put in an unreasonable situation, too. Take advantage of that. Eye contact: get some. A polite smile and a eyeful of iris can be unnerving to anyone in a stressful situation, and they're standing there for hours on end in an endless cycle of touchy repetition. Whistle loudly. You'll make everyone in line less edgy once they see someone taking it in stride, and may even make the process that much faster. When confronted with a full-body scanner and asked to rotate, do the Macarena. Tell the last TSA agent that you see while leaving the security area that it was wonderful, and ask if it was just as good for them as it was for you.Request dinner from your frisker prior to your search. Wear no underclothes. None at all. Pose briefly while in the scanner before each 90-degree turn. Consult bodybuilding videos on YouTube for references. Ask them if they can see the rash, and smile innocently.



I find putting on the most ridiculous pair of socks you own before leaving the house for the airport is best.  Vintage 1980s Mickey Mouse stockings ftw!  Is there no better occasion than the TSA screening area for you dads to done on those frilly neon-poka-dot stockings and hello-kitty ties that your daughter gets for you?
« Last Edit: November 23, 2010, 01:49:06 PM by Babalonian »
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Wow, you guys need help.

Offline ROX

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2010, 02:58:19 PM »
full body condom and a big smile



Who are you dating?  Courtney Love or Madonna?

Offline 68ZooM

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2010, 03:02:38 PM »
Wayout, man you just caused a bit of half chewed tuna sub to go flying.

Girl at work just got a job with TSA and will be working in Dulles in a few weeks.  I told her be prepared to be hated and when not at work I sure wouldn't tell anyone who I worked for these days.  Some of y'all sure wouldn't mind her being your frisker either.

she'll get stuck frisking the women lol
UrSelf...Pigs On The Wing...Retired

Was me, I bumped a power cord. HiTEch

Offline Tupac

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2010, 03:04:17 PM »
The whole idea of my post was to make the frisker as uncomfortable as possible, I guess noone got it, or just didn't think it was funny
"It was once believed that an infinite number of monkeys, typing on an infinite number of keyboards, would eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. However, with the advent of Internet messageboards we now know this is not the case."

Offline CAP1

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Re: An easier way to get frisked
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2010, 03:52:21 PM »
The whole idea of my post was to make the frisker as uncomfortable as possible, I guess noone got it, or just didn't think it was funny

not much funny about things like this.
ingame 1LTCAP
80th FS "Headhunters"
S.A.P.P.- Secret Association Of P-38 Pilots (Lightning in a Bottle)