Author Topic: I might just be a redneck...  (Read 1298 times)

Offline G0ALY

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I might just be a redneck...
« on: December 09, 2010, 07:56:21 PM »
Hello,

I don’t know if I should consider it to be either a new HIGH, or a new LOW… But should Jeff Foxworthy ever begin a joke with, “If you have ever used a leaf-blower to unclog a bathroom toilet…”

As of last night, I might just be a redneck.

 

One of my daughter’s duties is to clean up the K9 landmines in the back yard. For her, the quickest and easiest ways to deal with this, is to scoop up the puppy-bombs and just flush them down the toilet in the half bath which is located just inside the back door. It seems that during one of her last patrols she inadvertently scooped up a stick in addition to the doogie-doo.

All I knew is that the commode was plugged solid. The plunger wouldn’t work, and the little snake I bought was useless.

So last night, I unbolted the toilet to see if I could attack the problem from underneath… Still no luck. So I went into the ‘Man cave’ (Pronounced, “Garage”) looking for anything that I could use to snake thought the toilet in an attempt to unplug it. By the way… Kroger’s is selling “Burger” beer for $5.99 a 12 pack, and this appears to have played some part in the problem solving process… But I digress…

There were several failed attempts at unplugging the commode using wire and string. And then, my eyes were opened, and I noticed that the hole in the bottom of the toilet is almost identical to the opening on the leaf-blower with the long nozzle removed.

To properly understand what happen next, you need to think of the toilet as a Revolutionary war musket. Think of the stick as the lead bullet. Think of all of the toilet paper that had attached itself to the stick as the wadding that keeps a bullet tight in the barrel of a gun… And now.. Think of the leaf-blower as GUNPOWDER!

The only thing that I did not do was draw a bull’s-eye on the far wall of the bathroom… But then again, a thinking man would have just closed the lid.

CHEERS! goaly


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Offline Flipperk

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2010, 07:58:39 PM »
Pics or it didn't happen
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Offline G0ALY

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2010, 08:03:27 PM »
Pics or it didn't happen

LOL.. The wife commented afterward that she should have taken pictures.

Don't believe it if you don't want to. After all, is this the look of a man who would do such a thing?



CHEERS! goaly
My password at work had to contain exactly 8 characters… I chose Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Offline Spikes

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2010, 08:14:13 PM »
Goaly...reminds me of...."pooper was full!" Other word, though.
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Offline Dichotomy

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2010, 08:17:06 PM »
 :lol
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Offline Banshee7

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2010, 08:17:31 PM »
Glad I wasn't the only one, Spikes!
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Offline SIK1

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2010, 08:48:54 PM »
LOL.. The wife commented afterward that she should have taken pictures.

Don't believe it if you don't want to. After all, is this the look of a man who would do such a thing?

(Image removed from quote.)

CHEERS! goaly


 :rofl
From the looks of the pic I'm surprised that you are just now contemplating the possibility. The cold beer, shorts, Hawaiian shirt, and Sorel's while grilling in the snow, classic, but the hat now that is the shh...stuff. :aok
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Offline crazyivan

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2010, 10:52:42 PM »
Goaly...reminds me of...."pooper was full!" Other word, though.
  :rofl nice

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Offline greens

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2010, 11:37:33 PM »
HAHAHHAHAHAAHA!!! at least ya thinked insteada zagged  :aok
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Offline Nilsen

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2010, 12:41:03 AM »
 :rofl G0ALY

Offline ozrocker

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2010, 05:19:07 AM »
EDDIE! At Clarke's house again are ya. :rofl :rofl


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Offline fbWldcat

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2010, 05:33:23 AM »
"Snots! Roll over and let Uncle Clark scratch yer belly!"
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Offline cobia38

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2010, 06:25:15 AM »
LOL.. The wife commented afterward that she should have taken pictures.

Don't believe it if you don't want to. After all, is this the look of a man who would do such a thing?


CHEERS! goaly

 picture fail... birds are on plates and grill is not lit  :neener:


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Offline G0ALY

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2010, 07:19:29 AM »
picture fail... birds are on plates and grill is not lit  :neener:

The birds are actually “Beer-Butt” chicken. They are stuffed onto a half-full can of beer, and cooked in an upright position. I cook them on disposable aluminum pie pans for two reasons: #1. They provide indirect heat and this keeps the bottom half of the chicken from burning. #2. The pan catches the drippings and keeps it from putting out the charcoal. An added benefit of the Pie pans is it provides more stability for the bird than the wire grate of the grill.

As for the grill not being lit. Once charcoal has used up the fuel that is used to light it, it becomes covered in ash and you longer see a flame.

I can understand your skepticism… My family sees what I do first hand, and they still choose not to believe half of it.

CHEERS! goaly

My password at work had to contain exactly 8 characters… I chose Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Offline mbailey

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Re: I might just be a redneck...
« Reply #14 on: December 10, 2010, 07:28:34 AM »
 By the way… Kroger’s is selling “Burger” beer for $5.99 a 12 pack, and this appears to have played some part in the problem solving process… But I digress…
Coffee out the nose.......thanks Goaly  :rofl

 
Reminds me of an insured i had that just "knew" that  leaves from his tree had fallen down the plumbing vent pipe on his roof,clogging the plumbing system in his house. He climbed up on the roof, poured 3 gallons of Drano down the vent pipe, then proceded to go and hook up his industrial air compressor. <sidebar, the adaptor he made to fit the compressor nozzle to the vent pipe was an engineering marvel, how this thing was made by such a moron should be investigated by scientists....end sidebar>
Well he climbs up on the roof and attaches his (one and only good idea ever im sure)  to the pipe and ZAP!!!! Compressed air blew 3 gallons of Drano out every drain in the house, Sinks, toilets,thru into the washing machine and dishwasher. Needless to say his buddy that was down in the bathroom awaiting the sucess of this endevor was not at all pleased being covered in a mix of feces and Drano(suprising no leaves though :rolleyes:). He called us after the ambulance had left telling the story,and explaning what had happened.<another sidebar, Did you know that Drano not only eats thru hairballs in the drain, but also hair still attached to the head? As well as mucus membraines,skin and some building materials?......me either  :lol<end sidbar>

Well Einstein managed to do about $15k worth of damages to his house (which was paid for by me...yes your homeowners insurance covers STUPID), not sure what the hospital bill was for his friend, but im thinking it was a tad more.

Oh.......and the cause of the clog? Tree roots in the sewer lateral leading from the house to the street. Looks like Darwin was on to something, just the wrong end of the tree.

Great story Goaly <S>
« Last Edit: December 10, 2010, 07:39:20 AM by mbailey »
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