A question of ethics

[Dichotomy]

If someone you really don't like has made a decision to do something that will backlash on them and cause them a lot of emotional and mental turmoil for potentially years to come do you have an ethical obligation to point on the potential pitfalls of said decision or do you make popcorn, grab a drink, get comfortable, and watch?   

No matter what I'm going to have to listen to the screeching and getting the blame for their ridiculously stupid choice. 

Ahh well. 

[dedalos]

If someone you really don't like has made a decision to do something that will backlash on them and cause them a lot of emotional and mental turmoil for potentially years to come do you have an ethical obligation to point on the potential pitfalls of said decision or do you make popcorn, grab a drink, get comfortable, and watch?   

No matter what I'm going to have to listen to the screeching and getting the blame for their ridiculously stupid choice. 

Ahh well. 

It depends on a lot of things.  You need to give a lot more detail to get a good answer.  It comes down to why do you not like them.  Did they hurt you or is it a loud neighbor.  Also, do you know for sure it is going to be a bad decision or is it your opinion?  For example, jumping off of a bridge would be a bad idea for sure, but telling them not to get married to someone would be just your opinion.  Finally, can you prove to them it would be a bad decision?

[Dichotomy]

Good points and sadly I've got no more detail to offer at this time. Nothing life threatening I assure you because then there really would be no ethical question.  You have to attempt to save them even if it means contacting the authorities.  Just a bad decision in an interpersonal relationship that I'm privvy to both sides and know exactly what the backlash is going to be.  Sadly even if I did try to tell party A that it was a mistake they'd tongue lash me and do it just to spite me and 'show' everybody how hard they are. 

Original post was more tongue in cheek

[katanaso]

If someone you really don't like has made a decision to do something that will backlash on them and cause them a lot of emotional and mental turmoil for potentially years to come do you have an ethical obligation to point on the potential pitfalls of said decision or do you make popcorn, grab a drink, get comfortable, and watch?  

No matter what I'm going to have to listen to the screeching and getting the blame for their ridiculously stupid choice.  

Ahh well.  

Sounds like may have to eventually deal with the moral decision of this:  do you make popcorn, grab a drink, get comfortable, and watch?

There's a difference between feeling like you should warn somebody of danger and taking pleasure in watching them suffer because you didn't.

If you're going to feel guilty about it now, you're going to feel guilty later.

ETA:  I see you're talking about relationship issues.  No matter what you do, you'll be to blame somehow, even if you're not involved.

[BnZs]

[Dichotomy]

BINGO Kat... *tosses over a cigar

Problem is even if I expressly said 'you're making a mistake and the repercussions are not going to be to your liking' I'd get the Hawaiian salute and she'd do it anyway just to show me.   

Of course when the mushroom cloud goes up it WILL be my fault... or is Karya handy?   

[jd]

Is better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to speak and confirm that you are.

[dedalos]

Good points and sadly I've got no more detail to offer at this time. Nothing life threatening I assure you because then there really would be no ethical question.  You have to attempt to save them even if it means contacting the authorities.  Just a bad decision in an interpersonal relationship that I'm privvy to both sides and know exactly what the backlash is going to be.  Sadly even if I did try to tell party A that it was a mistake they'd tongue lash me and do it just to spite me and 'show' everybody how hard they are. 

Original post was more tongue in cheek

Heh, that is what I thought.  You just think it is a bad decision based on what you think you know or they told you.  There is no way to prove it to them (or yourself) unless you let it happen - if it does happen.

If you say anything, the only one making a bad decision will be you 

[Dichotomy]

Is better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to speak and confirm that you are.

Oh come on now I think it's fairly obvious

Spot on Ded... normally I don't post my personal business on any bbs but I had to vent a little.  This is as good a place as any.  Now I'm just waiting for the mushroom cloud to appear in the east.  And, of course, the call telling me why it's my fault.

[NormH3]

Oh come on now I think it's fairly obvious

Spot on Ded... normally I don't post my personal business on any bbs but I had to vent a little.  This is as good a place as any.  Now I'm just waiting for the mushroom cloud to appear in the east.  And, of course, the call telling me why it's my fault.

throw her for a loop. Admit she is right. Works everytime.

[RufusLeaking]

For example, jumping off of a bridge would be a bad idea for sure, but telling them not to get married to someone would be just your opinion.

There is a difference? Both are painful and likely to end in death.

[Dichotomy]

  I may give that a shot Norm 

[KayBayRay]

Greetings <S> 

I assume you are not a parent?

Let me give you some advice as I have raised many children, have lived a long life (so far) and seen a lot of things along the way.

There is a lot of truth to the old saying "You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink". The horse will not drink until it realizes it is thirsty. This is the case with humans as well. You have this basic delimma before you.

Do I not say something and just let them go or do I say something to try to make them aware? What ever you say will not have any effect unless they are thirsty for what you are saying. But.... if you dont at least try to communicate your concern then if things do go bad you may feel pretty bad about not even saying anything.

I have been in this situation many times as I have raised many Teens and still have some on the way. I would at least say something. I would not try to drive it home but at least fulfill my obligation as their friend, their Father, their Brother, etc... and at least bring it up. But when all is said and done I would not work at convincing them but just let them make the call and go with it. I would also try to avoid the "I told ya so" after it blows up. The best thing you can do is let them LEARN from their own choices. After all the real primary function of a parent is to teach their children how to make better choices.

Regards,
KayBay

[Dichotomy]

KB

A) wrong.. been one for almost eighteen years
B) the rest of your post is spot on <S>
C) sadly the individual in question doesn't listen to anybody but the voices in their own head.

[CAP1]

If someone you really don't like has made a decision to do something that will backlash on them and cause them a lot of emotional and mental turmoil for potentially years to come do you have an ethical obligation to point on the potential pitfalls of said decision or do you make popcorn, grab a drink, get comfortable, and watch?   

No matter what I'm going to have to listen to the screeching and getting the blame for their ridiculously stupid choice. 

Ahh well. 

if they never physically hurt you or family, then i'd normally say yes....tell them. the problem is that they'll more than likely run around saying "XXX said this and that blablabla", then you're in the poop hole.