Had to have our 13 year old golden retriever put to sleep this afternoon.
Best dog. And best friend this family has ever had bar none. He was indeed special. Moreso then any I've had before.We were truley blessed with him
He had been slowing down as all old timers do. but he was still pretty spy for his age. and just over a week ago while playing with our Choc lab he showed he could still kick her arse and pin her down without too much trouble. But then one day a few days ago. You could tell he wasnt feeling well. While he's always been very vocal, grunting and groaning
This time you could tell it wasnt his usual groan when he lay down. He continued even after he was laying down. Kinda rythmic Almost as if constipated. We figured he wasnt feeling good that maybe it was something he ate. So we gave it a day. and low and behold he was seemingly getting better.
Then it happened again. And we were going to bring him to the vet and suddenly he was better again. But we were getting concerned, Then last night he started again. I knew we were bringing him int to he vet this time. He went like this on and off pretty much all night long. I went out and slept on the couch and brought him up there with me. As being close to him seemed to comfort him and it wasnt as frequent.
Then today He was still at it. So my son and I brought him to the vet. My wife met us there. On the way we all kinda had a gut feeling how this was going to turn out but nobody said anything. We were all still hoping this would be something minor. Alas it was not to be.
Didnt take the vet very long. Though he tried to tell us as carefully as he could. Seems with dogs like these when they get old they sometimes develop little tumors in their spleen, which eventually starts bleeding internally. Unfortunately they often dont show any real symptoms until its too late. This is also closely followed by anemia, which he was also showing signs of.
We had options. He could perform surgery. But given the age of the dog and the fact he was going to need a transfusion. It was dangerous at best. Plus this is often only a temporary measure to a problem that could re-manifest itself within a matter of weeks. He explained that he had the exact same thing happen to one of his mastiffs last year and within 6 weeks he ended up having to put it down anyway because it came back aggressively.
The other option would be just to take him home and let him pass on his own.
By this time Im not ashamed to say we were all in tears because we knew there really only was one option. Surgery would have meant more suffering with a high probability it wouldnt help or work very long if it worked at all.
Taking him home would also have just meant we would have him around a bit longer for us. But also would have meant more suffering for him.
My son was the first to say what we all thought. "we dont want him to suffer" We all very quickly concurred that this was the best option. Not for us. But for him.
My son and I stayed while my wife left the room after looking at him look up at me. she couldnt take it. I admit I wanted to leave too after looking down on him but I knew I couldnt do that to him. Has to be one of the hardest things I've had to do. He just looked up at me the whole time. I dont want to try to describe it all. I CANT describe it. As difficult as this is. I dont even know why I'm writing all this other then I feel a compelling need to.
If nobody get this far in this post. Thats ok.
If anyone thinks Im a piece of garbage for writing all this. Thats ok. I am sorry.
My son wanted to drive home by himself so I rode with the wife. My son broke the news to my daughter before I got home.
My lab, greeted us at the door then started looking and smelling around for Jeb. She too I beleive senses what is wrong.
Now Im sitting at my desk with this big open space under it where Jeb used to lay for all these years, Serving as foot rest. foot warmer, and general companion.
I never played this game with rudder pedals because I didnt want to displace him. His blanket is still there and one of his balls right where he dropped it. But the space is so vacant now, and cold. Very weird feeling how one can sense the lack of a presence. How a being, even when silent can be felt when present and the lack of it noticed once absent.
If you've stuck around this long. I may as well tell you about him.
Jeb as I said was special. By far the smartest dog I've ever owned. Like problem solving smart. He proved to me beyond a shadow. that dogs can reason, imagine and plan ahead and learn very quickly. As with most goldens. "Ball was life" to him. We used to set his ball up in different increasingly complicated situations to see if he could figure out a way to get it. So long it was possible for him to get at it. He would figure out a way. You could just tell he loved the new challenge as you could just see the wheels turning inside his head thinking about it. And it wasnt just that. But alot of different little things that he would do that, well you just wouldnt expect a dog to think of.
Lemme put it to you this way. By comparison. Our Choc Lab. While a great dog. Is pretty typical for a dog. Just what you would expect. smart but nothing particularly keen in the bring department. I'll put it like this. her name is Zoey, but we usually call her "Dingbat"
And he had a certain manner about him. Cant explain it You would have had to witness it to understand. But every single animal we've ever had in this house in the time he's been here simply adored and was attracted to him almost likea magnet. This would include 4 cats, one of which he practically raised, And one that started out as a Ferrel.
and a Duck we had one summer (Whole nother story)
Protective, Hell, over protective sometimes. Even of the other animals. but particularly of kids and then women. I never had any qualms about leaving a small child out in the back yard alone so long as he was there
Considerate, if that makes sense. Like the way he would sneak onto our bed late at night when we were sleeping or he thought we were. the only way you would know is because the mattress would start to list to one side under his weight as he gently climbed aboard and settled down at the foot of the bed. If you noticed, he would look at you as though to say "Sorry. Im not trying to bother anyone. I'm out of the way. see?" During the day he would just hop up if we were awake. But if we were sleeping, Gentile as a lamb. Unlike the lab whom day or night will just hop up as if launched form a pogo sick half not caring where she lands.. Needless ot say, Jeb spent more nights with us then dingbat does.
He was royalty in this house and seemed to not only know it. But appreciate it as well and showed such respect in kind
These's just too much to describe. and Im not sure he can be discribed accurately. You had to have known him.
My eyes are wet, My head is pounding And Im starting to run out of steam. So I'll stop now And just say he wasnt just a family pet or even like part of the family. He WAS part of the family in every sense of the word other then physiology. And we were very much blessed to have him as such.
Words cannot discribe how much love and joy he brought us. Nor how much we will miss him.
To those that stuck this out to the end. Thank you. You didnt need to. As I said. I wrote this down for me. Because I needed to.
