A guy got mugged. Did he overreact?

[Mano]

THIS IS AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD FROM THE "SAVANNAH TRIBUNE" NEWSPAPER ........


 

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown Savannah   night before last.

Date: 2010-05-27, 1 :43 a.m.  E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Bur berry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.
The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 ....45 ACP pistol for my birthday,
and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed
since I made        you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as
well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so
what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you, but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you
well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider,
the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!


 

[whiteman]

believable till the call to the FBI.

[PFactorDave]

believable till the call to the FBI.

Nah he lost me when the street punk had a credit card and cash in his wallet.  If the punk had had cash I am sure he would have been off scoring something to smoke or mainline instead of mugging folks on the street. 

[whiteman]

Nah he lost me when the street punk had a credit card and cash in his wallet.  If the punk had had cash I am sure he would have been off scoring something to smoke or mainline instead of mugging folks on the street. 

people that us to live behind us had a kid that always had money but had sticky fingers so that didn't seem to far of a reach.

[gyrene81]

i call b.s. if the guy was smart enough to take the punks shoes and cell phone...he would not have admitted to calling the fbi and the d.a.'s office.

[shiv]

Snopes is your friend:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

[MaSonZ]

had this been a real scenario and not some BS story... he was justified with the pistol, self defense...but the rest is way over the top. the part with the credit card was purty funny though. why break someones window and key the driver side of his card who is completely innocent to it all? Why call the DA and FBI... pretty rediculous.

[MachFly]

had this been a real scenario and not some BS story... he was justified with the pistol, self defense...but the rest is way over the top. the part with the credit card was purty funny though. why break someones window and key the driver side of his card who is completely innocent to it all? Why call the DA and FBI... pretty rediculous.

Agreed

[Getback]

Nah he lost me when the street punk had a credit card and cash in his wallet.  If the punk had had cash I am sure he would have been off scoring something to smoke or mainline instead of mugging folks on the street. 

Me too!

[Babalonian]

people that us to live behind us had a kid that always had money but had sticky fingers so that didn't seem to far of a reach.

Shoplifting and petty theft is different than robbing and buglarly though, or at least it should be in the court of law.  Still, he's a thief.

[DrDea]

 Were it true the guy admitted to credit card fraud and bogus calls to the FBI. This person is an attention starved dip turd.

[1sum41]

either way its kinda funny.

[Chalenge]

When you draw your pistol and shoot them in the head they still crap their pants but it saves you the embarassment of having to apologize for being right to draw and fire.

[AKH]

It's an entertaining read, but fantasy, none the less.  What alignment would that dude have?

[EskimoJoe]

It's an entertaining read, but fantasy, none the less.  What alignment would that dude have?

Chaotic good.